Hello group. I am an older sibling, not a parent. I am going to spill my guts now. Here is the story: My mom and dad have been absolutely amazing parents. They have always affirmed their love for us and encouraged us. I feel that they are very emotionally healthy people. We do not deal with conflicts by fighting. We have always been calm people, expressing our emotions clearly, calmly, and verbally. Then, when I was in 3rd grade, my sister was born. She was a great baby, although she cried insanely, and we suspected she had colic. My parents didnt know what to do. And, fatigued after hours of trying to help her, they would sometimes let her cry in her crib for a while. Then she learned to talk. She has pretty much been stuck in her terrible twos ever since. She is 11 now, and in 5th grade. She is quiet and well-behaved at school. She enjoys learning and loves to read. She has a few friends, but only those who are willing to do what she tells them to do. My sister was so different from my parents experience with raising me because I was a well-behaved, quiet, obedient, overall healthy or normal child. She is manipulative, controlling, rude, distracting, unpredictable, possessive (about us spending time away from her), and deceitful. She denies her negative actions/behaviors. She never gives up in fights. She sometimes pushes and hits to get her way. She doesnt consider other peoples feelings. She holds grudges like no tomorrow. I have never seen another human being who seems so inhumane and evil, let alone a child. It also doesnt help that my parents can be forgetful and inconsistent. Especially my mother. Whenever my dad is not around, my sister really takes advantage of her. It kills me to see my little sister have complete control of my mom. Two years ago I encouraged my parents to get help because our family was going crazy. They started going to therapy, and she was diagnosed with "traits" of ODD. She started getting neurofeedback. My parents and I also learned how to deal with her. We handle situations differently. It has made a dramatic change in our lives. For the first time, she and I were able to hang out, and have kind, loving days and weeks, and not just rare moments. She also started taking anti-depressants about six months ago. This has also helped her mood become stable and positive. I started noticing the positive effects when my little sister actually randomly told me that she loved me. I almost cried. Whenever she tells me that now, I have to hold back tears of shock, amazement, and thankfulness. When she goes to school, or when I am out for the weekend, she tells me that she doesnt want to leave me and that she misses me. She has also improved with her maturity and self-awareness. Occasionally (but definitely not always) after a fight, she would sincerely apologize to me of her own accord! No one prompted her to do so. This greatly shocked me, and of course, I forgave her immediately. These things have been so incredibly absolutely amazing, because for 9 years, we dealt with nothing but conflict and anger. My little sister and I are now best friends. Although I am almost ten years older than her, we usually get along great, and I spend a lot of time and effort really trying to invest in her and love on her. I want to be a role model for her, someone whom she can trust and turn to during her teenage years. So that is a great success story. BUT. She is very dependent upon her anti-depressants. If she ever misses taking them one night, we all suffer the day afterwards. She has ruined all of our lives, in a way. Both of my parents spend so much time, energy, and effort on her that their marriage has suffered slightly as a result. We have spent so much money on her, both with buying her gifts (bribing her to behave), and helping her with neurofeedback (which our insurance does NOT cover) and therapy. She stresses us all out. My mom suspects that this is one of the causes of being overweight. My dad is constantly worn out. I dont get to spend very much time with them because they are either spending time with her, or too exhausted from spending time with her. We also deal with an unnecessary amount of emotional turmoil dealing with her. But then we also think that she was probably put into our lives for a reason, because most other families would probably have given up on here, and would have not supported and loved her the way that we do. And she still has her moments. When they happen, they happen HARD. For example: She got angry at me five days ago. I tried to work it out with her. But she refused to talk with me. I tried ignoring the argument, and treating her like normal, smiling at her and trying to talk with her. But she would scowl at or ignore me. She would not let go of this grudge. Another disagreement set her off yesterday. We had a family talk. My sister denied ever being angry about the first conflict. She somewhat shared her emotions, and she kind of listened to what my parents and I had to say, but not without a lot of interruptions, distractions, rude facial expressions and noises, etc. My parents handled the situations beautifully by appropriately instructing and correcting her. So it was a good convo in that she didnt get away with all the BS that she usually happens. But it was unsuccessful in that nothing was resolved. She was the same person afterwards that she was before: angry, denying, apathetic, and rude. Similarly, today after a family meal, I tried confronting her. She acted the exact same way. After some careful attempts to resolve the conflict with our rents being referees, I ended up walking away, crying, out of hurt, frustration, and desperation. I am so upset. I rhetorically think to myself, "How long will this happen? Will she ever grow out of this? Why do we have to put up with this bull? How can this little child be so cruel? How can this small person, who is kind, sweet, humorous, loving, even, adoring most of the time just turn so suddenly against those who love her the most?" I understand that her brain has a chemical imbalance, plus, it is partially genetic (my dad says that his mom acted the same way, as an adult, while he was growing up), but it still hurts so much. I am thankfully having an emergency appointment with the family therapist tomorrow. I have an amazing support group consisting of my parents and my boyfriend. I also have strong spiritual beliefs, so I most importantly depend upon God for strength. But I thought it was about freaking time that I look for a support group. We need people who can relate to us specifically. Its easier to deal with problems when you know others are dealing with similar situations. Gosh, I pray to Jesus that my children will not be like my sister in this sense.