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General Parenting
(New Member) This child is going to ruin our family.
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<blockquote data-quote="Estherfromjerusalem" data-source="post: 265376" data-attributes="member: 77"><p>It was very interesting to read your experience of the situation as a sibling. You sound like a wonderful sister, and a wonderful daughter.</p><p></p><p>I see from your signature that you are a full-time college student and have a boyfriend.</p><p></p><p>As an older parent (my difficult child, my youngest child, is 22 and a half, my oldest child is 40), I wanted to express myself from a slightly different angle, from the angle of the parents of the children who are not difficult children: Please make sure that you look after yourself, that you complete your studies, gain a profession, are able to find a good job, that you get married (if that's what you want) and have a functioning family. What I am trying to say is: yes, it is wonderful for you to help your sister and to be there for her, but please not at the expense of your own emotional health. I'm not sure how to put this, but what I am trying to say as a parent is that what gives us the most satisfaction from our children when they are fully responsible adults is to see them happy and settled with a partner and a family and living a fulfilling life of contentment. So please don't let your sister's problems disturb your own getting on with your own life. If that sounds selfish, that's not how I mean it to sound.</p><p></p><p>You say you have an emergency appointment with the family therapist tomorrow. I hope you find it helpful.</p><p></p><p>Love, Esther</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Estherfromjerusalem, post: 265376, member: 77"] It was very interesting to read your experience of the situation as a sibling. You sound like a wonderful sister, and a wonderful daughter. I see from your signature that you are a full-time college student and have a boyfriend. As an older parent (my difficult child, my youngest child, is 22 and a half, my oldest child is 40), I wanted to express myself from a slightly different angle, from the angle of the parents of the children who are not difficult children: Please make sure that you look after yourself, that you complete your studies, gain a profession, are able to find a good job, that you get married (if that's what you want) and have a functioning family. What I am trying to say is: yes, it is wonderful for you to help your sister and to be there for her, but please not at the expense of your own emotional health. I'm not sure how to put this, but what I am trying to say as a parent is that what gives us the most satisfaction from our children when they are fully responsible adults is to see them happy and settled with a partner and a family and living a fulfilling life of contentment. So please don't let your sister's problems disturb your own getting on with your own life. If that sounds selfish, that's not how I mean it to sound. You say you have an emergency appointment with the family therapist tomorrow. I hope you find it helpful. Love, Esther [/QUOTE]
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(New Member) This child is going to ruin our family.
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