Hello, my name is Shery and I have a son who was diagnosed with ADD/ODD in May of 2008. It was a very long process and has been a rough couple of years. I have gotten several books to help me learn how to manage my son and different parental techniques and advice. My son is taking Concerta and it seems to help at school.
However, at home it is a different story. I have no other friends who have children with ADD and lots of friends/co-workers who think it's a scam or an excuse for children to act the way they do. I have been told several times that it is because I am divorced and the father is not involved or it could be my parenting techniques.
My son talks back continuously. I try grounding, push ups, running, time out (ALOT), talking, yelling, and yes the one time whooping his butt. NONE of it works. The littlest thing sets him off. He is great at school, but as soon as he gets home and wants to do something and I say no, then it is World War III.
The doctor tells me that I can dress him in girls clothes and send him to school, ground him, and I need to stop getting angry. BUT HOW CAN I NOT GET ANGRY???? My son continuously tells me its my fault that my ex-husband left me (which in fact he wasn't ready to be a father and only steps in on his birthday and christmas). My son continuously tells me that he is going to run away or call the Sheriff's office on me to report me grounding him or for time out. He tells neighbors, teachers, and friends that I am ruthlessly mean and treat him badly and he hates me. All because he gets in trouble for minor things or because I make him do chores (dishes, vaccumming, etc.) which he fails to tell them what he gets in trouble for. Then he gets in more trouble by starting his tantrums and talking back and being a smartypants.
I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm hurt. BUT most of all, I want my sweet little boy back before his attitude and behavior kicked in. No one understands what my day is like. Noone understands that everyday is a little bit like pure hell and my job has no time for it.
I'm wondering constantly if I really am a bad parent. I'm wondering if I should just walk down to Social Services and say, "I give up." I sometimes wonder if I should just take him down to the Sheriff's office and say, "Give him a tour, talk some sense into him." Would any of that help?
I'm tired of him telling me that I don't love him, that I don't want him, that I am mean and hateful, that he wants to run away, that he hates me, and several other things. No matter how much I say I love him, that I want him more than life, that everything I do is for him with work, that he is my angel...nothing gets through.
I'm at a loss where to go from here. I keep running into counselors that don't hold him "accountable for his actions." I realize he is only ten, but come on....he doesn't know when he shouldn't talk back?? If I say he is grounded for two days, he comes back with I thought you said a week. if I say go to your room, I have to physically carry him to his room (a lot). If I tell him not to get out of bed at night, he does it several times and then I have to put him back in bed. Which means less sleep for me and a hard time getting up for work. If I say do dishes I am verbally assulted constantly. I have a house alarm just to make sure he DOESNT run away.
Does anyone have any idea when enough is enough? When does it get better? Do I need to have medication up'd? Is it this hard for anyone else? When do I tell my friends to back off and stop trying to treat me as if I AM THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM?? Because he acts like a perfect angel at everyone else's house, so it MUST be me.
Thank you.
However, at home it is a different story. I have no other friends who have children with ADD and lots of friends/co-workers who think it's a scam or an excuse for children to act the way they do. I have been told several times that it is because I am divorced and the father is not involved or it could be my parenting techniques.
My son talks back continuously. I try grounding, push ups, running, time out (ALOT), talking, yelling, and yes the one time whooping his butt. NONE of it works. The littlest thing sets him off. He is great at school, but as soon as he gets home and wants to do something and I say no, then it is World War III.
The doctor tells me that I can dress him in girls clothes and send him to school, ground him, and I need to stop getting angry. BUT HOW CAN I NOT GET ANGRY???? My son continuously tells me its my fault that my ex-husband left me (which in fact he wasn't ready to be a father and only steps in on his birthday and christmas). My son continuously tells me that he is going to run away or call the Sheriff's office on me to report me grounding him or for time out. He tells neighbors, teachers, and friends that I am ruthlessly mean and treat him badly and he hates me. All because he gets in trouble for minor things or because I make him do chores (dishes, vaccumming, etc.) which he fails to tell them what he gets in trouble for. Then he gets in more trouble by starting his tantrums and talking back and being a smartypants.
I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm hurt. BUT most of all, I want my sweet little boy back before his attitude and behavior kicked in. No one understands what my day is like. Noone understands that everyday is a little bit like pure hell and my job has no time for it.
I'm wondering constantly if I really am a bad parent. I'm wondering if I should just walk down to Social Services and say, "I give up." I sometimes wonder if I should just take him down to the Sheriff's office and say, "Give him a tour, talk some sense into him." Would any of that help?
I'm tired of him telling me that I don't love him, that I don't want him, that I am mean and hateful, that he wants to run away, that he hates me, and several other things. No matter how much I say I love him, that I want him more than life, that everything I do is for him with work, that he is my angel...nothing gets through.
I'm at a loss where to go from here. I keep running into counselors that don't hold him "accountable for his actions." I realize he is only ten, but come on....he doesn't know when he shouldn't talk back?? If I say he is grounded for two days, he comes back with I thought you said a week. if I say go to your room, I have to physically carry him to his room (a lot). If I tell him not to get out of bed at night, he does it several times and then I have to put him back in bed. Which means less sleep for me and a hard time getting up for work. If I say do dishes I am verbally assulted constantly. I have a house alarm just to make sure he DOESNT run away.
Does anyone have any idea when enough is enough? When does it get better? Do I need to have medication up'd? Is it this hard for anyone else? When do I tell my friends to back off and stop trying to treat me as if I AM THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM?? Because he acts like a perfect angel at everyone else's house, so it MUST be me.
Thank you.
