New need help and support.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Grandall, May 25, 2009.

  1. Grandall

    Grandall New Member

    Hi Everyone, I'm new to the OD world. I'm 45 with my own children. I'm now faced with with my girlfriends 4 yr old son who may have OD. I've been with her for 3 months, we are statring to spend more time together especially with our children together, my 10 yr old son her 6 yr old son and her 4 yr son who is defiant. It's my 1st encounter with trying to manage him. My g friend is very supportive. I'm also trying to support her and not running from her we are in love. I don't want this to come between us. Any support and help would be apprieciated.
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Hi Grandall. It's really a tough situation to be in a new relationship when your significant other has a difficult child. Does your girlfriend recognize that her child has issues? Has she had any evaluations done on him?

    I'd suggest that you read through the thread at the top of this board on adapting The Explosive Child to younger children.
  3. wes

    wes New Member

    Hello and welcome I have a soon to be 6 yr old he is ODD/ADHD and the best advise I have been given is TRY(LOL) to be patient and remember it's not always him but the disorder stay strong you can get threw it but it is a long and sometimes hard road but it does have it's pay offs :peaceful:
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Before you get too involved with her, please be sure you can accept her son, even if he gets worse instead of better. That's my first bit of advice. We have lots of stepparents on the board who are tearing their hair out over defiant stepchildren who are now in their teens and twenties. In the end, realize bio. parents will almost always stick up for their kids, even their very difficult ones, over their spouse who is not the child's father.

    ODD is not normally a stand alone diagnosis so she hasn't yet touched everything that is wrong with him. It is really impossible for anyone here to tell you how to handle him. You barely know your girlfriend, let alone her son. I'd take it very slow and see how it goes. You have your own kids to think about too.

    in my opinion you should not be disciplining him at this point.

    Good luck, whatever you decide to do :D