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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 664459" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Lila just want you to know I am reading along and holding you close in my thoughts and prayers. </p><p></p><p>I am so glad you see using tools to keep yourself going. Filling your mind and day with other pursuits and taking it easy---getting lots of rest, eating well, doing kind things for yourself---these actions will help you. They don't "solve" it and don't change how you feel but these actions help you functions. </p><p></p><p>When times were the worst, I slowed everything way down. That is the best I could do. I took a nap every day and that is my big go to for tough times. I also read a lot of light fiction. It is relaxing to me and I can get lost in it which is a relief. Whatever works for you, but be conscious of actively being kind to yourself. </p><p></p><p>Also feel your feelings. It is very good to cry. It moves us along. There was a long long time of very deep grief for me. That deep grief ended well before Difficult Child started doing better. In fact he was still homeless and floundering when I started to come through to the other side and I could feel other emotions again. That doesn't mean I still didn't cry about him at times but the pall that was over all of my life had lifted somewhat. That was real progress for me. One reason that happened is because I quit fighting the very sad and deep dark emotions and I allowed myself to feel them. They did not kill me and I was able to start compartmentalizing. That was a big step forward as well. </p><p></p><p>This path is a journey and we change as we move along the path. We do not stay the same if we work on ourselves...even if they stay the same or worse. </p><p></p><p>Keep sharing here. We understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 664459, member: 17542"] Lila just want you to know I am reading along and holding you close in my thoughts and prayers. I am so glad you see using tools to keep yourself going. Filling your mind and day with other pursuits and taking it easy---getting lots of rest, eating well, doing kind things for yourself---these actions will help you. They don't "solve" it and don't change how you feel but these actions help you functions. When times were the worst, I slowed everything way down. That is the best I could do. I took a nap every day and that is my big go to for tough times. I also read a lot of light fiction. It is relaxing to me and I can get lost in it which is a relief. Whatever works for you, but be conscious of actively being kind to yourself. Also feel your feelings. It is very good to cry. It moves us along. There was a long long time of very deep grief for me. That deep grief ended well before Difficult Child started doing better. In fact he was still homeless and floundering when I started to come through to the other side and I could feel other emotions again. That doesn't mean I still didn't cry about him at times but the pall that was over all of my life had lifted somewhat. That was real progress for me. One reason that happened is because I quit fighting the very sad and deep dark emotions and I allowed myself to feel them. They did not kill me and I was able to start compartmentalizing. That was a big step forward as well. This path is a journey and we change as we move along the path. We do not stay the same if we work on ourselves...even if they stay the same or worse. Keep sharing here. We understand. [/QUOTE]
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