new!-ptsd, Borderline (BPD), adhd, anxiety

[prntofbpd1991]

Hi everyone, im a little new to this.
My daughter(17) has post traumatic stress disorder, borderline personality disorder, adhd, depression, and social anxiety. She currently takes prozac, respidon, and concerta. I am always having problems with her. She was raped at an early age, and has never been the same (understandable,) She's showed signs of ADHD at a young age, but it wasnt untill after the rape that the other problems came about. she began to constantly lie to her friends about major things (Ex: family members being terminally ill.) She overdosed on painkillers and thankfully, we found her in time, and after 22 days in a psychiatric hospital, shes now okay. She had intense flashbacks to the rape frequently, which causes he to be anxious about social situations. I have come to believe that the lying stems from the fear of abandonment often associated with Borderline (BPD), i think she believes that if she makes it seem like she has a tragedy occuring, her friends will not leave her. This is just a guess. Does anybody else have similar problems? or just support on how challenging it is to raise a child with so many problems? I find that my friends do not understand, saying things like "how can you let her get away with that?!" when she punched a hole in the wall. They dont understand that I would rather he be punching a wall, then cutting herself or hitting others. It is impossible for others to relate. Just looking for a little bit of understanding, thanks for listening!

 

[bran155]

Hello and welcome. I am so sorry for you and your daughter's pain. That is very hard to live with. I can relate as my daughter is also Borderline (BPD) and it is very hard to deal with. The lying is a daily thing. In fact she once lied about being raped. I lived for a year believing someone had violated her only to find out later that it was all made up for sympathy. She has also cut herself in the past. There are a lot of us that can directly relate to what you are going through. And all of us can relate to the difficulties of raising a difficult child!!! These kids are tough to deal with to say the least.

You have found a wonderful place to find support and friendship. This site has helped me tremendously. Everyone here is so kind and knowledgeable. You will recieve lots of advice and lots of shoulder's to cry on.

I will keep your daughter in my prayers. I can only imagine how hard it must be for her. Poor thing!!! I hope she is able to talk about her trauma in therapy. That is so important.

Hang in there and come here as often as needed, this truly is a soft place to fall. God bless.

 

[BusynMember]

Has she had any sort of intensive therapy just for the rape issue? I know this issue well, and it can cause all the other issues and must be addressed with somebody who specifically understands sexual assault. This messed my own daughter up for YEARS.

 

[klmno]

Hi! I'd recommend getting her some therapy for ptsd first. She might still need to be on medications through that, I can't say, but my gut tells me therapy for anything else might be a moot point until she gets a better foothold on getting over the rape.

Welcome!!

 

[susiestar]

Welcome. You have certainly ofund a group of parents who will understand. We have each gone through some part of this, including having precious few people in our lives who understand ANY of what is going on.

My son used to cut. It is an addictive behavior as it releases endorphins. There is a wealth of info online about it. And I totally understand preferring to have her hit a wall than cut.

I also think that until she gets intensive treatment for the rape she will have an incredibly tough time dealing with anything else in life. The "gold standard" treatment for PTSD is called EMDR - Eye movement desensitization something (possibly retraining, but I am not sure). This is considered to be the most effective treatment for the PTSD, especially when combined with other therapies. If you Google EMDR therapy or eye movement desensitization therapy you will be able to find people in your area who are certified to use this therapy and can help you.

She will certainly need intensive therapy to deal with the rape. Look for a survivor's group online, and ask what resources are available in your area.

Many hugs, and lots of support. I know you are hurting as you watch her in such pain.

I am glad you found us.

 

[Jena]

Hi and welcome

You will find a great amount of support here, i am sorry she is in so much pain.

I'll wait till you write bck, the others had some good questions.

 

[klmno]

If you want, you can let me know what area (state/region) you are in and I can try to help research a therapist for this. I've been doing a little looking around lately anyway. If you're comfortable doing that and are interested, you can PM me or post it in this thread either one.

 

[TerryJ2]

Hi Prntofbpd, welcome.

Wow, she's got a boatload of issues. I agree, I'd treat the PTSD first. Try to imagine how difficult it would be to deal with-everyday life when, at the time you least expect it, you get a flashback. It would not only interfere with-everything, it would scare the out of you.
I don't know that much about the medications you mentioned, just that I would wonder if her anxiety level is still too high, and make sure the medications help with-that.

I like your hypothesis/theory on why she makes up Big Fish stories. Makes sense to me. What does her psychiatric say about it?

In reg to punching the wall, would she respond well to a deliberate set-up for her anger issues, such as a punching bag or a soft baseball bat and soft pillows? They can be set up in a winterized garage (so you don't have to deal with-the noise) or in her bedroom, if necessary.
Lots of people punch walls when they're angry and upset (although in my experience, it's more of a guy thing). Out of all the things she could do, that's one of the least damaging ... unless she breaks her hand, of course.

Considering that you've gotten her on medications and she actually takes them, that's half the battle. Give yourself, and her, some credit for the progress you've already made.

 

[prntofbpd1991]

thanks so much for everyones support! She is currently being treated by a therapist that specializes in sexual assault, she has come a long way. She also attends DBT (diallectical behavior therapy,) and it seems to be helping as well, (no more cutting atleast, and shes agreeing to take her medications.) However, things are far from perfect. I get calls from the school on a regular basis that she's acting out, (the most recent issue was throwing her notebook at a teacher..) I have enrolled her in a kickboxing class to get a hold on punching the walls, we'll see how that goes. As for her lying, her therapist agrees with me. We think that its either her frantically trying to prevent people from leaving, or her attempt at getting the point of just how miserably she feels. I cant help but blame myself in the sense that, before i knew about the rape, she would always say "mom I feel so depressed," and i would immediatley say "but you have nothing to be depressed about!" making her feel that she needed to prove how sad she was, or try to get her friends to understand how sad she was, (by lying..) I love her dearly, and it just hurts to see her in so much pain. I try to talk to her but she doesnt want to spend any time with me, just cooped up in her room, the only person she goes out with is her boyfriend, (who i actually love, thank god!) but other than that, nobody. Her friends call and call and she just ignores it.. i feel like im failing her.

 

[Nancy423]

I also think that until she gets intensive treatment for the rape she will have an incredibly tough time dealing with anything else in life. The "gold standard" treatment for PTSD is called EMDR - Eye movement desensitization something (possibly retraining, but I am not sure). This is considered to be the most effective treatment for the PTSD, especially when combined with other therapies. If you Google EMDR therapy or eye movement desensitization therapy you will be able to find people in your area who are certified to use this therapy and can help you.
.

My mother (a PsyD) is trained in EMDR. If you need resources, let me know. I can help with that. We've done that with- my difficult child with some great results and you can even do it at home.

 

[BusynMember]

My daughter was assaulted at her friend's house when she was eight. She didn't tell me until she was fourteen and nobody had a clue. She started acting out (taking drugs) at twelve. All the diagnoses your daughter has are probably caused by the sexual assault. Keep taking her for help. My daughter is doing really well now. She doesn't even seem like the same mixed up kid she used to be. You're doing the right thing. There is nothing we can do when kids don't tell us about horrible things that happen to them. We can't read their minds.