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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 621632" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi and I am sorry you are in this situation and your son has these diagnoses. Just work on yourself and try to do things every day to move your thinking to a new place about this entire situation. You will see many tools you can use to do that on these threads and on this site, including writing a gratitude list every day (sounds too simple but it works), going to Al-Anon/or other 12-step meetings, getting a sponsor there, reading the literature, therapy for you, books like Boundaries and Codependent No More, exercise, doing kind things for yourself, meditation, etc. </p><p></p><p>Every single one of those things---if you do them---will help you and little by little you will start to see yourself gain a new attitude and a new perspective.</p><p></p><p>It won't happen automatically and if you don't do anything different, you will keep on thinking and feeling and doing the same things.</p><p></p><p>Feel your feelings, whatever they are. Don't try to put them in a box and deny them. Cry, rage, be deeply sad, sleep, stare, do whatever you have to do about your feelings, which you have a right to and they are valid. </p><p><u></u></p><p><u>The key is not what you are feeling, but what you do about what you are feeling</u>. </p><p></p><p>I work hard not to do ANYTHING when I am feeling the above, but to let some time pass and then decide when my mind is clearer. </p><p></p><p>Just reading this site will help you a lot. Please know we understand your deep pain and sadness and reflections about the past. </p><p></p><p>But you only have today. What will you do with it? What will I do with it? That is worthy of our focus today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 621632, member: 17542"] Hi and I am sorry you are in this situation and your son has these diagnoses. Just work on yourself and try to do things every day to move your thinking to a new place about this entire situation. You will see many tools you can use to do that on these threads and on this site, including writing a gratitude list every day (sounds too simple but it works), going to Al-Anon/or other 12-step meetings, getting a sponsor there, reading the literature, therapy for you, books like Boundaries and Codependent No More, exercise, doing kind things for yourself, meditation, etc. Every single one of those things---if you do them---will help you and little by little you will start to see yourself gain a new attitude and a new perspective. It won't happen automatically and if you don't do anything different, you will keep on thinking and feeling and doing the same things. Feel your feelings, whatever they are. Don't try to put them in a box and deny them. Cry, rage, be deeply sad, sleep, stare, do whatever you have to do about your feelings, which you have a right to and they are valid. [U] The key is not what you are feeling, but what you do about what you are feeling[/U]. I work hard not to do ANYTHING when I am feeling the above, but to let some time pass and then decide when my mind is clearer. Just reading this site will help you a lot. Please know we understand your deep pain and sadness and reflections about the past. But you only have today. What will you do with it? What will I do with it? That is worthy of our focus today. [/QUOTE]
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