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<blockquote data-quote="Go slow mama" data-source="post: 698081"><p>Thanks again.</p><p></p><p>My son is not bound by any court orders, probation, no involvement with the legal system because he resolved his past charges. When he was on bail for a year he did observe his 9pm curfew religiously. At 17 I am no longer legally responsible for him, that ended at 16 in Canada. But child social services also ends at 16 so any and all programs would require his voluntary consent.</p><p></p><p>Right now he has agreed to see a counsellor I know through work; although he slept through the first one on purpose to avoid it. I chose not to engage with him around that because nothing good would come of it. He's now had a few days to reflect with distance from me and he seems amenable to going. </p><p></p><p>I feel like 17 is too young to turn him out, not that he can stay at all costs, but his brain is still forming and with mental illness he is at a disadvantage. I agree that my son like others is acting like an autonomous adult while enjoying the priviledges of being a dependant child. It's sometimes hard to know what is him just being a jerk (for lack of a better descriptor) and him acting out his issues related to abandonment and mental illness. Maybe that differentiation doesn't matter so much but I wonder sometimes if I would be so frustrated if I knew or understood completely how his mental illness impacts him. He does of course have his own agency, and he does of course have to own his decisions...but it's tricky to be so sure of what we're addressing here, choice or illness?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Go slow mama, post: 698081"] Thanks again. My son is not bound by any court orders, probation, no involvement with the legal system because he resolved his past charges. When he was on bail for a year he did observe his 9pm curfew religiously. At 17 I am no longer legally responsible for him, that ended at 16 in Canada. But child social services also ends at 16 so any and all programs would require his voluntary consent. Right now he has agreed to see a counsellor I know through work; although he slept through the first one on purpose to avoid it. I chose not to engage with him around that because nothing good would come of it. He's now had a few days to reflect with distance from me and he seems amenable to going. I feel like 17 is too young to turn him out, not that he can stay at all costs, but his brain is still forming and with mental illness he is at a disadvantage. I agree that my son like others is acting like an autonomous adult while enjoying the priviledges of being a dependant child. It's sometimes hard to know what is him just being a jerk (for lack of a better descriptor) and him acting out his issues related to abandonment and mental illness. Maybe that differentiation doesn't matter so much but I wonder sometimes if I would be so frustrated if I knew or understood completely how his mental illness impacts him. He does of course have his own agency, and he does of course have to own his decisions...but it's tricky to be so sure of what we're addressing here, choice or illness? [/QUOTE]
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