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<blockquote data-quote="Zoobiechick" data-source="post: 440143" data-attributes="member: 12245"><p>Thanks for all the support and fantastic information and advice. Yes, I realize I have more on my hands than I can deal with. To address some of the comments and show where we're headed, last year we did an online school (K-12) for the very reason one of you mentioned--to involve a 3rd party so I could pull out to a degree. She also took lots of classes with a local group--Cake Boss, Theater, etc. She did so much better than in public school academically and behaviorally otherwise, but that home behavior stuff I mentioned...toward the end of the year I just knew that I had done what I could do to give her a chance to reframe where she was headed and needed to send her back out to try her wings (ugh). Who has the quote about picking up a cat by the tail? Well, it was time to put the cat down.</p><p></p><p>My husband and I have already decided to send her back to ps so she'll be starting high school in Aug. Got my seatbelt buckled already. I have stressed to her that she is fully accountable for the consequences of her decisions and behavior. I will re-read your suggestions and see what I can do to get the system working for her--hopefully. It takes so much energy for all that. I admire those of you who have been tirelessly in the trenches for years. I tried to go down that road very tentatively when she was in middle school, 6th grade, but I don't think the principal really believed the seriousness of her issues. She seems normal in many ways, but the two places her issues really show up are school and home because those two places actually have expectations. She got kicked out of school for having a knife on my 2nd day of full-time assumption of a 3rd grade class for student teaching--I got the phone call to come pick her up right in the middle of a teacher meeting. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, other issues...in kindergarten, there was an issue with her and a girl kissing, and difficult child came home and told me the girl got on her and said they were "sexing." In 1st, the teacher told me difficult child and this girl were kissing in the library. In 3rd, they were under a desk kissing. Ongoing issues since--difficult child making sexual moves toward my sweet niece who is 3-4 years younger (we no longer get together with my siblings who have small kids because we can't let her out of our sight), recently told me she's a lesbian, thinks she's in love with her best friend who is a cutter and a "Wiccan." difficult child showed us stuff she wrote about not being able to think about anything but kissing girls. She shows no self-consciousness about very personal behavior/desires such as these. This friend gave her razor blades, but difficult child left them out somewhere and I asked her about them, and she gave them to me with no resistance. I used to think the sexual behavior began because of the other girl in K (registered sex offenders in that family), but I have seen enough now to think my daughter is predatory. I truly don't know what set if off--she was in a very protected environment before entering K. Now, of course, we don't let her babysit (how do you think that goes over? another instance of us destroying her life <<sigh>>). difficult child is also obsessed with and reads almost nothing but witch, vampire, murder, etc. literature. I always read good stuff to her when she was younger, and we had some wonderful lit in our homeschool curriculum--but she gravitates to the dark side. Yesterday she read her book jacket from the library, "Throat cutting suspense." It freaks me out. Her mind is scary.</p><p></p><p>Sorry, I haven't addressed all your comments. Will be here for a few years, probably...plenty of time. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite9" alt=":eek:" title="Eek! :eek:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":eek:" />)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zoobiechick, post: 440143, member: 12245"] Thanks for all the support and fantastic information and advice. Yes, I realize I have more on my hands than I can deal with. To address some of the comments and show where we're headed, last year we did an online school (K-12) for the very reason one of you mentioned--to involve a 3rd party so I could pull out to a degree. She also took lots of classes with a local group--Cake Boss, Theater, etc. She did so much better than in public school academically and behaviorally otherwise, but that home behavior stuff I mentioned...toward the end of the year I just knew that I had done what I could do to give her a chance to reframe where she was headed and needed to send her back out to try her wings (ugh). Who has the quote about picking up a cat by the tail? Well, it was time to put the cat down. My husband and I have already decided to send her back to ps so she'll be starting high school in Aug. Got my seatbelt buckled already. I have stressed to her that she is fully accountable for the consequences of her decisions and behavior. I will re-read your suggestions and see what I can do to get the system working for her--hopefully. It takes so much energy for all that. I admire those of you who have been tirelessly in the trenches for years. I tried to go down that road very tentatively when she was in middle school, 6th grade, but I don't think the principal really believed the seriousness of her issues. She seems normal in many ways, but the two places her issues really show up are school and home because those two places actually have expectations. She got kicked out of school for having a knife on my 2nd day of full-time assumption of a 3rd grade class for student teaching--I got the phone call to come pick her up right in the middle of a teacher meeting. Anyway, other issues...in kindergarten, there was an issue with her and a girl kissing, and difficult child came home and told me the girl got on her and said they were "sexing." In 1st, the teacher told me difficult child and this girl were kissing in the library. In 3rd, they were under a desk kissing. Ongoing issues since--difficult child making sexual moves toward my sweet niece who is 3-4 years younger (we no longer get together with my siblings who have small kids because we can't let her out of our sight), recently told me she's a lesbian, thinks she's in love with her best friend who is a cutter and a "Wiccan." difficult child showed us stuff she wrote about not being able to think about anything but kissing girls. She shows no self-consciousness about very personal behavior/desires such as these. This friend gave her razor blades, but difficult child left them out somewhere and I asked her about them, and she gave them to me with no resistance. I used to think the sexual behavior began because of the other girl in K (registered sex offenders in that family), but I have seen enough now to think my daughter is predatory. I truly don't know what set if off--she was in a very protected environment before entering K. Now, of course, we don't let her babysit (how do you think that goes over? another instance of us destroying her life <<sigh>>). difficult child is also obsessed with and reads almost nothing but witch, vampire, murder, etc. literature. I always read good stuff to her when she was younger, and we had some wonderful lit in our homeschool curriculum--but she gravitates to the dark side. Yesterday she read her book jacket from the library, "Throat cutting suspense." It freaks me out. Her mind is scary. Sorry, I haven't addressed all your comments. Will be here for a few years, probably...plenty of time. :o) [/QUOTE]
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