Forgive me if starting a new thread isn't the proper way to introduce myself. Anyway, I've turned to online chat groups for support for difficult children since my daughter was a toddler--many times in the wee hours of the night--trying to find the strength to get through another day. But I never joined one until now. I feel like I will need it for the journey ahead. We adopted her at birth, 2 mos preemie, and she has been a challenge from the beginning. She's always shown extreme sensitivity, extreme loudness, extreme disregard for consequences, resistance and opposition to normal parenting guidelines. She has always just seemed like an Energizer bunny on her own agenda, the world be damned. I joke that she kicked the doors of the womb down two months early with both guns drawn. At this moment, things are relatively calm. We just finished our 2nd year of homeschool after I pulled her out in 7th grade because I could no longer handle the kleptomania, friend issues, failing grades, not being on the bus when I was there to pick her up and having to call all over kingdom come to figure out where she was, phone calls from school principals and counselors, getting kicked out of school, being one of the two or three kids who never got to go on the special trips because of behavior issues...from what I've read as a lurker, you guys get what I'm talking about. And all of this while I was heavily involved in our local small town school system. I wasn't only burdened with worries about her, but I was also downright humiliated--endlessly. The public school issues were hard, but I joked with dark humor to my husband last year to never rule out murder/suicide. Dark, I know. Homeschool with a child raging every 15 minutes or so was torture. "You hate me! You're destroying my life! You're a happiness destroyer! You're a sad excuse for a mother!" yadda yadda. And this past year, the threats came. "I'm bigger than you." Or holding things up in a threatening way, as if she was going to hit me with them. I was damned if I did, damned if I didn't. Couldn't leave her in school to self-destruct, but homeschool made my life a private hell. I have so often felt like this child has left me with no options, stripped me of everything, chewed me up, spit me out and stomped on me. But right now, as I said, things are relatively calm, so I can introduce myself calmly. This is long already, so I'll leave out any more details for now. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Anyway, I'm glad this forum is here. It has given me strength already, and hopefully now I will be able to contribute too.