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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 24014" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Concerning your Point 4 - this is something difficult child 3's psychologist made us put in place. We use this sort of time together as a reward for difficult child 3, for having a day without needing time out. This doesn't mean we don't try to have quality family time together at other times, but the fact that is was recommended as a reward, shows how important it is and how much our families value planned time together.</p><p></p><p>Go for it!</p><p></p><p>by the way, my husband was very honest about the problems we've gone through in having to change our parenting styles. We were talking about it on the way home tonight - when a bloke is brought up to be a disciplinarian and the head of the household, with all this connected deeply to his manhood, it's very hard to make changes. For some men it's even harder because first they have to recognise that what they have been doing, the way they were brought up, is imperfect. This is the biggest hurdle, frankly. And if someone is living in denial about anything, you can't change their mind for them. You can't live their life for them. Confrontation only makes denial worse. Love, compassion and communication is the best way through, if they can accept it. And sometimes you have to accept less than complete accommodation to new ideas.</p><p></p><p>Can you get Joey to have a look at the discussion on Early Childhood, concerning "The Explosive Child"? It's a shorter way to quickly get a feel for it. My husband couldn't read the book, he just couldn't get into it. Not that he was unsupportive - far from it. But for him, and the other kids, I wrote a summary. This helped him quickly understand what I was trying to do, and writing it helped me consolidate the information in my own head. It was a very useful exercise.</p><p></p><p>Keep us posted on how things are going.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 24014, member: 1991"] Concerning your Point 4 - this is something difficult child 3's psychologist made us put in place. We use this sort of time together as a reward for difficult child 3, for having a day without needing time out. This doesn't mean we don't try to have quality family time together at other times, but the fact that is was recommended as a reward, shows how important it is and how much our families value planned time together. Go for it! by the way, my husband was very honest about the problems we've gone through in having to change our parenting styles. We were talking about it on the way home tonight - when a bloke is brought up to be a disciplinarian and the head of the household, with all this connected deeply to his manhood, it's very hard to make changes. For some men it's even harder because first they have to recognise that what they have been doing, the way they were brought up, is imperfect. This is the biggest hurdle, frankly. And if someone is living in denial about anything, you can't change their mind for them. You can't live their life for them. Confrontation only makes denial worse. Love, compassion and communication is the best way through, if they can accept it. And sometimes you have to accept less than complete accommodation to new ideas. Can you get Joey to have a look at the discussion on Early Childhood, concerning "The Explosive Child"? It's a shorter way to quickly get a feel for it. My husband couldn't read the book, he just couldn't get into it. Not that he was unsupportive - far from it. But for him, and the other kids, I wrote a summary. This helped him quickly understand what I was trying to do, and writing it helped me consolidate the information in my own head. It was a very useful exercise. Keep us posted on how things are going. Marg [/QUOTE]
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