New to this forum

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jewel33, Jan 30, 2007.

  1. Jewel33

    Jewel33 New Member

    A friend of mine posted the link to this site forum in my msn group after me telling her I think my son may have ODD so she kindly added the link and I am glad she did!

    I am a stay-at-home mother of four, Ashley,12, adhd, Megan,9, sleep disorder, Timothy,7, Muscular Dystrophy and developmental delays, and Jeremy,5, challenging(there's a chance he may have odd). I am also homeschooling, taking home lessons in PcRepairs and just started a small home business recommending health and environmental products. I am in a relationship, going on 8 years.

    I am looking forward to getting to know you all who are also having to deal with special needs kids with adhd, odd and so on.
    Jewel
     
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Welcome aboard, Jewel33. :laugh: Glad to have you.
     
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Welcome Jewel! This site is awesome! You will find not only a lot of support but also endless information. A lot of our kids have ADHD as well as other diagnosis's. You mentioned your youngest possibly having ODD. Have you had any kind of evaluation done yet? ODD is rarely a stand alone diagnosis. It normally tags along with something else (such as ADHD for example) My son has ODD also but is also diagnosis'd with ADHD and BiPolar.

    Welcome again! I'm sure more will be along soon with more information.
     
  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Hi Jewel - welcome! :warrior:
     
  5. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Welcome Jewel. This place has wonderful support and guidance.
     
  6. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Welcome!
     
  7. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    Just adding my welcome! :bravo:

    steph
     
  8. houseofcards

    houseofcards New Member


    this is a great site, welcome.
     
  9. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Welcome Jewel! I'm glad you found your way here. :smile:
     
  10. amstrong

    amstrong New Member

    Wanted to add my welcome too, Jewel. You have found a wonderful resource filled with many wise and caring people.

    Hugs,
     
  11. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Hi, Jewel. Welcome. If you haven't already had your youngest evaluated, now would be a very good time. Also, there are a couple of books to lay your hands on. I know people recommend books and you probably have more on your shelves that you could want, but here's some practical help with ODD symptoms - "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. I wish Fran had set up this site to have shares in it. Unfortunately, she hasn't. But we recommend it anyway. it's not a cure, it just makes it easier to handle these kids. You can use the same techniques on other kids too.

    It's basically a step away from what most of us would consider to be classic, 'normal' discipline. What we've been brought up with. It worked for us, why not for our kids? It worked for out other kids, too.

    The thing is, this seems to work better because, I feel, it helps us 'plug in' to what makes our child tick. With most kids, strict, consistent discipline is respected and it works. With ODD-like kids, it actually makes them worse. they kick against it and resent both the discipline and the person administering it. They do not respect you, they resent you.

    What Ross Greene's work taught us was that when we apply it (and it was actually easier to step back away from the previous heavy-handedness) we change from being an obstacle for our child, to being a helper and facilitator. We teach respect by showing respect. We model. No more, "Because I said so, that's why!" but more of, "because if you think about it, or let me give you more detail, you will see that it is for your benefit."

    There was some discussion on the Early Childhood forum on this site, on how to adapt TEC to younger children. If the discussion isn't there, it should be in the archives. It is a worthwhile read. And I really hop you experience what I did - simply AS I WAS READING IT my child's behaviour began to improve, because I was already unconsciously changing my parenting habits and he was responding positively to the change.

    My son is still autistic. He still has tantrums. But he is far less oppositional, and now rarely reacts automatically as he used to. We've even got less of the typical teen (typical teen) behaviour, compared to friends with 'normal' sons the same age.

    difficult child 3 is still VERY strong-willed. He probably always will be. But we're no longer fighting. If I clash heads with that will of his, I will lose. I've learnt, instead, to be able to direct that will of his in positive directions, especially schoolwork. "School work during school hours" is our strictest rule. Even if he's seriously ill, he has schoolwork to go on with. What qualifies as school work - it's up to me but it can be flexible. If he's really ill he can go to bed and sleep. But if he's in bed awake, he can read a school book.

    It sounds tough, but he's accepted it. We had to do it that way because he was so ill for so long - anxiety, we now know, but it was also sending his temperature up. Now, when he gets a fever, he doesn't worry so much. He still checks his temperature constantly - he used to try to use it to get out of schoolwork - but it's no longer an issue since we stopped letting it be one.

    I'm only giving an example, your child is undoubtedly very different. I guess I'm a bit reactive on the subject of home-schooled kids being difficult about knuckling down to work - I was just talking to difficult child 3's English teacher on the phone, she commented on how well he gets working compared to other students on her phone list. difficult child 3 isn't exactly home-schooled, he's a correspondence student. However, there is almost as much flexibility in his program as home schooling.

    Good to have you around. Grab a hand - here - and climb on board.

    Marg
     
  12. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Hi Jewel,

    This is a great site!!! Its nice to meet you. WFEN
     
  13. Jewel33

    Jewel33 New Member

    Thank you all for your warm welcomes! Glad th be here!
     
  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Welcome aboard. DDD
     
  15. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Just popping in to add my welcome!
     
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