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Newbie / 24 yr y/o son in jail again
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 415857"><p>Volusia,</p><p></p><p>I sympathize so much with where you are, as I am sure a lot of us do in this forum. I think it is really hard to have a child in jail, there is something just awful about it. At least that is what I felt... I hated it when my son was in jail for 2 weeks although now I think it is the best thing that could have happened. If you can find an alanon group for parents, that can really help. Sounds like your son (and his wife) both have serious drug problems. I think the reality is it is hard to be successful at life when you are dependent on drugs and always looking for the next high. I know what you mean about worrying about that possible phone call. So hopefully your son will hate jail. I think it is a strong statement when you refuse to bail him out. He is 24 and it is time for him to be responsible for himself. You can't change him or cure him, he needs to be the one to do that work. My suggestion (know you didn't want advice so ignore me if you want) is to take a stand and stick to it. I would suggest you think about what you are willing and not willing to do for him, and what you think would really help him or not. Getting him out of jail and letting him gon on his merry way probably won't help him much, except that he got by the system one more time. Maybe leaving him in jail until he is willing to seriously look at rehab or drug treatment will help him. Maybe not. however he has to get to the point where he wants help. I know with my son he really really hated jail, and once there he was willing to do anything to get out.... and that finally got him into rehab for his drug problem. Good luck. Keep reading and posting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 415857"] Volusia, I sympathize so much with where you are, as I am sure a lot of us do in this forum. I think it is really hard to have a child in jail, there is something just awful about it. At least that is what I felt... I hated it when my son was in jail for 2 weeks although now I think it is the best thing that could have happened. If you can find an alanon group for parents, that can really help. Sounds like your son (and his wife) both have serious drug problems. I think the reality is it is hard to be successful at life when you are dependent on drugs and always looking for the next high. I know what you mean about worrying about that possible phone call. So hopefully your son will hate jail. I think it is a strong statement when you refuse to bail him out. He is 24 and it is time for him to be responsible for himself. You can't change him or cure him, he needs to be the one to do that work. My suggestion (know you didn't want advice so ignore me if you want) is to take a stand and stick to it. I would suggest you think about what you are willing and not willing to do for him, and what you think would really help him or not. Getting him out of jail and letting him gon on his merry way probably won't help him much, except that he got by the system one more time. Maybe leaving him in jail until he is willing to seriously look at rehab or drug treatment will help him. Maybe not. however he has to get to the point where he wants help. I know with my son he really really hated jail, and once there he was willing to do anything to get out.... and that finally got him into rehab for his drug problem. Good luck. Keep reading and posting. [/QUOTE]
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