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Newbie / 24 yr y/o son in jail again
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 415936" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>I'm sorry you are going through this. We all have similar horror stories- jail or not- we have all been put through the ringer with our difficult children. My situation has gone on since my daughter was about 14 and she is now 20. I have been fairly successful at detaching and I can tell you it has brought me peace of mind and body and spirit that I have not had in years. That's not to say I don't still worry or have bad days, but I have been much better over the last year at shifting my focus to me and letting her live her own life. It's hard and scary, but really I wasn't controlling anything in her life anyway, and once I let go and realized I could only control me it felt like a 500 pound weight had been lifted from me. I will say that initially I had to detach in anger, which wasn't the best. But it was the best I could do. I have had periods of no contact with her, which is sometimes healthy and necessary for me. Now I have limited contact with her and on my terms, so that is amazing progress in my life. I think the key for me was learning to truly shift my focus to ME and my life and what makes me happy. That is a skill that takes practice but once you get there it changes everything. Good luck to you. Hang in there!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 415936, member: 11235"] I'm sorry you are going through this. We all have similar horror stories- jail or not- we have all been put through the ringer with our difficult children. My situation has gone on since my daughter was about 14 and she is now 20. I have been fairly successful at detaching and I can tell you it has brought me peace of mind and body and spirit that I have not had in years. That's not to say I don't still worry or have bad days, but I have been much better over the last year at shifting my focus to me and letting her live her own life. It's hard and scary, but really I wasn't controlling anything in her life anyway, and once I let go and realized I could only control me it felt like a 500 pound weight had been lifted from me. I will say that initially I had to detach in anger, which wasn't the best. But it was the best I could do. I have had periods of no contact with her, which is sometimes healthy and necessary for me. Now I have limited contact with her and on my terms, so that is amazing progress in my life. I think the key for me was learning to truly shift my focus to ME and my life and what makes me happy. That is a skill that takes practice but once you get there it changes everything. Good luck to you. Hang in there! [/QUOTE]
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Newbie / 24 yr y/o son in jail again
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