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Newbie / 24 yr y/o son in jail again
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 415980" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>Detaching isn't making your son disappear. It's about letting him do the things every adult needs to do FOR HIMSELF. It's letting him experience the consequences of his actions, rather than you jumping in to fix things for him. It's really about focusing on yourself and making sure you are living the healthiest, happiest, most productive life you can. When you are detached you can feel badly about the things that happen to your son, but it doesn't destroy your life. You are able to live a relatively happy life even if he is in jail, on drugs, stealing, whatever. It's a long process, and I still struggle with it sometimes. But overall I have detached pretty well and I am able to have contact with my daughter in a healthy way. When she veers off the road and tries to infringe on my boundaries I hang up the phone, walk away, whatever I have to do to maintain my sanity. Look at it this way- drugs are your son's addiction. Your son (and his chaos) is your addiction. You have to get sober and it doesn't happen overnight. Good luck to you on this journey!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 415980, member: 11235"] Detaching isn't making your son disappear. It's about letting him do the things every adult needs to do FOR HIMSELF. It's letting him experience the consequences of his actions, rather than you jumping in to fix things for him. It's really about focusing on yourself and making sure you are living the healthiest, happiest, most productive life you can. When you are detached you can feel badly about the things that happen to your son, but it doesn't destroy your life. You are able to live a relatively happy life even if he is in jail, on drugs, stealing, whatever. It's a long process, and I still struggle with it sometimes. But overall I have detached pretty well and I am able to have contact with my daughter in a healthy way. When she veers off the road and tries to infringe on my boundaries I hang up the phone, walk away, whatever I have to do to maintain my sanity. Look at it this way- drugs are your son's addiction. Your son (and his chaos) is your addiction. You have to get sober and it doesn't happen overnight. Good luck to you on this journey! [/QUOTE]
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Newbie / 24 yr y/o son in jail again
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