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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Newbie...desperate mom with 20 yo addict...court tomorrow
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 578398" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>Hello Wake girl and wlcome. I wrote you a long reply that just ened up in cyberspace somewhere. I am sorry that you are going through this and I too have been there done that. Detachment in the early stages is very hard and goes against all that a mom is programed to do when we are blessed witha tiny little life to care for. But your son is no longer an innocent that needs to be protected from himself. He needs to feel the consequences of his actions and addictions as many times as it takes for him to want to change. You have the very best consequence in that court ordered treatment. I was going to advise that you not tell him anything about your plan for court but I see that you already have. I firmly believe you need to follow through no mater what and if he is threatening you and won't leave your home then you leave until he is in program. We as parents do not and should not put ourselves in harms way no matter what the situation. A hotel or a friend can give one shelter in the hailstorm that can be our difficult children. My son got increasingly abusive while awaiting his court appearance a few years back and I ended up with broken ribs. I should have llet him just go and get int rouble but was so focused on him staying straight that I didn't take care of me. Be careful, do what you need to do to get him help but do not enable him or accept his abuse. -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 578398, member: 2315"] Hello Wake girl and wlcome. I wrote you a long reply that just ened up in cyberspace somewhere. I am sorry that you are going through this and I too have been there done that. Detachment in the early stages is very hard and goes against all that a mom is programed to do when we are blessed witha tiny little life to care for. But your son is no longer an innocent that needs to be protected from himself. He needs to feel the consequences of his actions and addictions as many times as it takes for him to want to change. You have the very best consequence in that court ordered treatment. I was going to advise that you not tell him anything about your plan for court but I see that you already have. I firmly believe you need to follow through no mater what and if he is threatening you and won't leave your home then you leave until he is in program. We as parents do not and should not put ourselves in harms way no matter what the situation. A hotel or a friend can give one shelter in the hailstorm that can be our difficult children. My son got increasingly abusive while awaiting his court appearance a few years back and I ended up with broken ribs. I should have llet him just go and get int rouble but was so focused on him staying straight that I didn't take care of me. Be careful, do what you need to do to get him help but do not enable him or accept his abuse. -RM [/QUOTE]
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Newbie...desperate mom with 20 yo addict...court tomorrow
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