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newbie - feel like I'm going under!
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 161768" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hey toffee, </p><p> </p><p>Welcome to the family. I can feel the frustration in your post and would offer my first suggestion to THROW as far as you can 1-2-3 magic. It is perhaps the worst book I ever wasted my time on. It sets kids up to fail in telling them they get 3 chances before they HAVE to comply with a parents wishes. </p><p> </p><p>I would like to suggest a better read. Most here will tell you to read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. This will help you understand. I would tell you that in 17 years the best book I have read regarding solutions to helping me help myself with regards to my son has been How to talk so your kids will Listen and how to Listen so your kids will Talk. it's an amazing self-help book about something we believe we are born with and are NOT......effective communication skills. </p><p> </p><p>You're marriage doesn't need to be on the rocks, your 3 year old doesn't need to be tormented daily and you don't need to feel like you want to die. Although there have been days when i could have joined you. A few things I think every parent with a child who has behavior disorders should hear is You are not alone, if you were we wouldn't be here to help, and this is a lifetime disability. It's not going to go away with pills or therapy, but they help manage the symptoms. Knowing now that this is going to take YEARS to help while brutal to hear - allows your brain to start preparing for long term dealings and doesn't set you up to think - OH wow with pills and treatment of 3 months this will be over or behind us. </p><p> </p><p>A lot depends on his diagnosis. A lot depends on how much you and your husband will put into your own therapy in dealing with your son. If you find and work with a good psychologist6 you can formulate "battle" plans so that you and your hubby ARE united - and in turn that helps your marriage. parenting these kids aren't for the weak of heart - but it IS for the special. You can get to a place where you'll not dread his (difficult child) presence every day and occasionally you'll find your mind set understanding what it's like to be inside HIS head and you gotta figure if he feels THAT bad on the inside that this behavior manifests itself like it does on the outside - WHAT must he feel every day of his life? No one WANTS to be like he is - they just are. It's possibly genetic, chemical - no one knows for sure. </p><p> </p><p>What we do know is that with help and services in place and arming yourself with an education regarding your son and his diagnosis - you can have better days - and occasionally you are blessed with a fantastic day. </p><p> </p><p>Welcome to the board! You've found a great place to vent and a wonderful community that understands. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 161768, member: 4964"] Hey toffee, Welcome to the family. I can feel the frustration in your post and would offer my first suggestion to THROW as far as you can 1-2-3 magic. It is perhaps the worst book I ever wasted my time on. It sets kids up to fail in telling them they get 3 chances before they HAVE to comply with a parents wishes. I would like to suggest a better read. Most here will tell you to read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. This will help you understand. I would tell you that in 17 years the best book I have read regarding solutions to helping me help myself with regards to my son has been How to talk so your kids will Listen and how to Listen so your kids will Talk. it's an amazing self-help book about something we believe we are born with and are NOT......effective communication skills. You're marriage doesn't need to be on the rocks, your 3 year old doesn't need to be tormented daily and you don't need to feel like you want to die. Although there have been days when i could have joined you. A few things I think every parent with a child who has behavior disorders should hear is You are not alone, if you were we wouldn't be here to help, and this is a lifetime disability. It's not going to go away with pills or therapy, but they help manage the symptoms. Knowing now that this is going to take YEARS to help while brutal to hear - allows your brain to start preparing for long term dealings and doesn't set you up to think - OH wow with pills and treatment of 3 months this will be over or behind us. A lot depends on his diagnosis. A lot depends on how much you and your husband will put into your own therapy in dealing with your son. If you find and work with a good psychologist6 you can formulate "battle" plans so that you and your hubby ARE united - and in turn that helps your marriage. parenting these kids aren't for the weak of heart - but it IS for the special. You can get to a place where you'll not dread his (difficult child) presence every day and occasionally you'll find your mind set understanding what it's like to be inside HIS head and you gotta figure if he feels THAT bad on the inside that this behavior manifests itself like it does on the outside - WHAT must he feel every day of his life? No one WANTS to be like he is - they just are. It's possibly genetic, chemical - no one knows for sure. What we do know is that with help and services in place and arming yourself with an education regarding your son and his diagnosis - you can have better days - and occasionally you are blessed with a fantastic day. Welcome to the board! You've found a great place to vent and a wonderful community that understands. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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