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Newbie here! Desperate need of Help! Very Long Post!!
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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 8429" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>Hi Becky, I'm sorry that your situation required you to track us down but I'm glad you found us. Yup, everything you're describing is familiar territory to various moms around here.</p><p></p><p>Most pediatricians are reluctant to do any kind of referring prior to age 3 unless there is something that points to developmental delays instead of what could be interpreted as possible behavioral problems. (And some of what you're describing could be attributed to normal 2 year old behaviors--many busy two year olds would walk off a slide or walk away from a park which is why they need constant supervision.)This can be a real standoff because often we hear moms approaching pediatricians because they suspect something more is going on and they can't get them to agree it's worth pursuing. So let me ask some questions to see if there are any developmental red flags.</p><p></p><p>How is his speech? Is it developmentally on target for his age?</p><p></p><p>Texture issues aren't uncommon among 2 year olds but to the point of not gaining weight is of concern. Check out this article and see if there's anything else ringing a bell:</p><p><a href="http://www.tsbvi.edu/seehear/fall97/sensory.htm" target="_blank">http://www.tsbvi.edu/seehear/fall97/sensory.htm</a></p><p></p><p>Other than the angry/defiant behavior, never stopping, and eating issues, is there anything else that seems unusual, quirky or plain weird about his behaviors? Interests and/or behaviors that you wouldn't expect to see in a child of his age?</p><p></p><p>On the practical side of things, I would suggest that you make changes in your household to accomodate the fact that your son has difficult behaviors and isn't ready developmentally to handle some things that other children of his age might be able to. This is both for his safety as well as for your sanity. Take his clothes and move them out of the dresser so he can't trash the place. Keep a few days supply handy where you need them and stash the rest up high in his closet or in a tub in a room you can keep locked. Divide the toys up into four tubs and rotate them so there's only a fraction of the toys out plus it will help keep his interest. And if he's not really playing with them at all but dumps them and moves on, then put most of them away. It's not worth the hassle for you. Otherwise, babyproof, babyproof, babyproof! My difficult child was the second child in the family and when he turned 3 I had to do additional babyproofing in the way of putting stuff up that my youngest son had no problems with. If he's getting into closets or other rooms and being destructive put locks high up on the doors to keep him out.</p><p></p><p>On the survival front, the other advice I have for you is that constant supervision is your best hope at this age. Many of have been there done that (myself included) and it's no fun at all but it's very necessary. Don't fight battles you can't win such as making him sit down at the table and eat at dinner time. Put food that you know he likes in front of him while he's playing or watching a video. If you can find a teenage mother's helper to give you a hand sometimes I think it would be great all the way around, even if it's just to get your little one out to the park to play. Sometimes difficult child's surprise us and do well for a helper like that as well.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there--things get better!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 8429, member: 701"] Hi Becky, I'm sorry that your situation required you to track us down but I'm glad you found us. Yup, everything you're describing is familiar territory to various moms around here. Most pediatricians are reluctant to do any kind of referring prior to age 3 unless there is something that points to developmental delays instead of what could be interpreted as possible behavioral problems. (And some of what you're describing could be attributed to normal 2 year old behaviors--many busy two year olds would walk off a slide or walk away from a park which is why they need constant supervision.)This can be a real standoff because often we hear moms approaching pediatricians because they suspect something more is going on and they can't get them to agree it's worth pursuing. So let me ask some questions to see if there are any developmental red flags. How is his speech? Is it developmentally on target for his age? Texture issues aren't uncommon among 2 year olds but to the point of not gaining weight is of concern. Check out this article and see if there's anything else ringing a bell: [url]http://www.tsbvi.edu/seehear/fall97/sensory.htm[/url] Other than the angry/defiant behavior, never stopping, and eating issues, is there anything else that seems unusual, quirky or plain weird about his behaviors? Interests and/or behaviors that you wouldn't expect to see in a child of his age? On the practical side of things, I would suggest that you make changes in your household to accomodate the fact that your son has difficult behaviors and isn't ready developmentally to handle some things that other children of his age might be able to. This is both for his safety as well as for your sanity. Take his clothes and move them out of the dresser so he can't trash the place. Keep a few days supply handy where you need them and stash the rest up high in his closet or in a tub in a room you can keep locked. Divide the toys up into four tubs and rotate them so there's only a fraction of the toys out plus it will help keep his interest. And if he's not really playing with them at all but dumps them and moves on, then put most of them away. It's not worth the hassle for you. Otherwise, babyproof, babyproof, babyproof! My difficult child was the second child in the family and when he turned 3 I had to do additional babyproofing in the way of putting stuff up that my youngest son had no problems with. If he's getting into closets or other rooms and being destructive put locks high up on the doors to keep him out. On the survival front, the other advice I have for you is that constant supervision is your best hope at this age. Many of have been there done that (myself included) and it's no fun at all but it's very necessary. Don't fight battles you can't win such as making him sit down at the table and eat at dinner time. Put food that you know he likes in front of him while he's playing or watching a video. If you can find a teenage mother's helper to give you a hand sometimes I think it would be great all the way around, even if it's just to get your little one out to the park to play. Sometimes difficult child's surprise us and do well for a helper like that as well. Hang in there--things get better! [/QUOTE]
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