Newbie in need of support

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by scarpetta1234, May 18, 2009.

  1. scarpetta1234

    scarpetta1234 New Member

    Hello all! I must first say that I have never done this before. Today, however, i am at my witts end! It is so refreshing to find a place where it is ok to say "I've had it" and I am not sure if I can take any more of this." My ADHD GFGson has me peering over the ledge. He is 16 and he has been a prayerful struggle since preschool. He has finally gotten expelled from school and now I am looking into alternatives to educate this extremely smart kid who has no social skills what-so-ever. He is truely a loving kid but he lies like nobody's business and I have little hope that it will ever change. Some days I just want him grown and out of the house!!! Then I feel sooo guilty and selfish for thinking that way. Some days I just wish he was "normal"..for his own sake not to mention mine. I am sooooo tired and no one I know truely understands this struggle. I am remarried and his father either wants custody or no help at all. My new husband (4 months!!) is so patient and kind to both of us. Some days though.........It is getting harder to cope. Desperate for a little understanding! Thanks for listening!
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Welcome! I'm glad you found us, but sorry you needed to.

    Would you be able to provide some more details so we get a fuller picture of what's going on?

    For example, what did he do to get expelled from school?
    Did he have an IEP?
    Are you satisfied with his diagnosis? Is it possible something beyond ADHD is going on?
    Has he ever had a thorough evaluation with a neuropsychologist?

    I hope your answers will help us point you in the right direction.

    Hang in there. You will find a lot of support here.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome to the board.

    Your son is pretty old now, however I am wondering if he has ever seen a neuropsychologist. Sounds like he could have Asperger's Syndrome rather than ADHD. Tragically, this misdiagnosis happens all the time. I"ll let you read about it. There is a lot of help for Aspergers, but your child has to be willing to want to get help. The biggest symptoms (I have a son like this) is extreme social cluelessness, quirkiness, rigidity to the extreme, obsessive interests or talents in one specific area, in spite of a normal IQ the kids are often clueless about life skills, sensitivities to noise/light/textures (but by 16 this is often much better), and they are just very different. They are not bad--their brains are wired differently. The "social cluelessness" is a huge red flag for anything on the autism spectrum disorder. My son diagnosed wrongly for years and didnt' start to improve until he got the correct interventioins. Of course, we are just parents and can't diagnose, but this child sounds like he just doesnt "get it" (life) and you sound ready to give up. In his case, I would take him to a neuropsychologist (they do the best, longest, most intensive evaluations) and then see if he has more than ADHD. IF so, he can get a lot of help and he CAN improve his quality of life--and yours. Here is a good article about Aspergers. Again, sadly it is often mistaken for mental illness or ADHD: