Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Newbie quest for further answers...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Blissful_Betty" data-source="post: 410129" data-attributes="member: 11254"><p>Thank you all for the welcomes... I previously had been blogging, but felt that it was too public for such personal information so have abandoned my 2 blogs. I am glad to find such a seemingly fitting group for venting and researching further answers.</p><p> </p><p>No, my son was not adopted. The Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) diagnosis comes from, (what I can pinpoint anyhow) major trauma before the age of 3. He was an unexpected, unplanned pregnancy. I was in the process of filing for divorce from his father, when my younger brother (16) committed suicide. I found out I was pregnant a month later. I left his father when DS was 9 mos. I began working at the same time and attending school 2 nights a week. DS responded with severe separation anxiety which in turn caused friends and centers to not want to care for him as he was "not a good fit". The separation anxiety lasted till he was around 3, when he then became abusive to any/all caregivers, family or not and destroying things/places and animal cruelty. I unfortunately was lucky enough to find the quack pediatrician that first dismissed my fears and stories and then when he validated them gave AWFUL advice that this overwhelmed, confused, scared single mother followed. It was quickly abandoned and in hindsight caused more trauma than good.</p><p> </p><p>medications stopped because he ran out, was in juvenile and his previous psychiatrist wanted to do a medication vacation so that we could restart them and hopefully his tolerance to the abilify would be removed and it would be more effective. His new psychiatrist (due to changing medical coverage and lack of psychiatrist input-he was actually being seen by a private practice psychologist that had a visiting psychiatrist on her staff-he actually saw psychiatrist 2X throughout 1.5 years) is taking his history seriously, has validated our concerns for our as well as DS safety and has been having weekly appointments with us for the last 3 weeks trying to decipher son, his diagnoses and the proper medications as the abilify wasn't nearly effective enough, the buspar was at such a low dosage that it wasn't doing anything and the concerta we restarted but without the others, the ds is having horrible side effects and refuses to take (since restarting last Thursday, took them Thursday, that's it)</p><p> </p><p>He has been on an IEP since 1st grade. The school suspends, expels with re-entry(sometimes) after a conference with the "team", myself, ds, school counselor, teachers and usually sd official. He started the behavioral school January 5th and he has done well for the most part. A couple trips to the quiet "carrol" and one "almost" trip to the safety room... but he pulled himself out. Beyond that, the school seems to be acting almost as helpless as I. </p><p> </p><p>As for giving up rights. I have told DEX that he needs to step in, but he has 2 more children with his new wife. His wife is sickly and weak, his 6yo daughter has rheumatoid arthritis and his 5yo daughter has autism... DS would pose an even bigger threat to them. In December I stood in court and pleaded that I didn't know what else to do, but that I can't keep living like this, in fear and watching my younger boy imitate his bigbro... DS steals anything that isn't bolted or locked down (2 visa frauds since Thanksgiving, even though purse is hidden or locked in office) and I can't control his behavior so I can't be held responsible for his actions outside the home. They basically said there was nothing they could do. I circumvented some of the red tape and contacted a director in the CHINS program, she sent me the application, but I HAVE to go through the steps to get the application approved and even in some ways truely started. We have a program called Home builders in our home right now (10 hours a week for 4 weeks) that are one of the necessary steps to getting him placed out of home. We have to go through Homebuilders to get into the correct regional support network. The good thing about the time with Homebuilders is that the MH counselor that is working with our family has seen the older two in their tyrants (oldest daughter is now in d/a inpatient) and has seen multiple attempts to redirect, talk with, counsel, command and comingle with DS to no avail. AND he has taken to walking out on her in our home as well. The good news about this is that finally he's not being his usual charmer and someone gets to see inside the facade. I don't want to give up on him, he's my son, in some ways I lent circumstances (working ft, going to school and divorce) to the enviroment necessary to cause Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), it's my problem I feel I need to solve it... but he's testing the limits of my sanity, my fight or flight response and recently the constant increasing stress is straining my marriage. I may have no choice but to officially give him up, or suffer the consequences of more casualties of marriage, sanity and motherhood of my other children. However, giving him up to the system doesn't offer much in the way of consolace either, as we are DEATHLY afraid that he will stew about it for the next however many years and will avenge that decision with bodily harm when he is a young adult. </p><p> </p><p>And yes, We/I am very saddened that things have turned out this way. I believe my son, will in the end, hurt someone before anyone really takes notice and then will say... "we never saw this coming"... but then, I am told that I will have a self fulfilling prophesy if I think like that. Hard to think anything else when you know the complete history and have seen his evolution... Sociopathic/Psychopathic is where I think the diagnosis is headed. But then, I'm not a professional, just a well educated, observant mother.</p><p> </p><p>Thanks for your responses!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blissful_Betty, post: 410129, member: 11254"] Thank you all for the welcomes... I previously had been blogging, but felt that it was too public for such personal information so have abandoned my 2 blogs. I am glad to find such a seemingly fitting group for venting and researching further answers. No, my son was not adopted. The Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) diagnosis comes from, (what I can pinpoint anyhow) major trauma before the age of 3. He was an unexpected, unplanned pregnancy. I was in the process of filing for divorce from his father, when my younger brother (16) committed suicide. I found out I was pregnant a month later. I left his father when DS was 9 mos. I began working at the same time and attending school 2 nights a week. DS responded with severe separation anxiety which in turn caused friends and centers to not want to care for him as he was "not a good fit". The separation anxiety lasted till he was around 3, when he then became abusive to any/all caregivers, family or not and destroying things/places and animal cruelty. I unfortunately was lucky enough to find the quack pediatrician that first dismissed my fears and stories and then when he validated them gave AWFUL advice that this overwhelmed, confused, scared single mother followed. It was quickly abandoned and in hindsight caused more trauma than good. medications stopped because he ran out, was in juvenile and his previous psychiatrist wanted to do a medication vacation so that we could restart them and hopefully his tolerance to the abilify would be removed and it would be more effective. His new psychiatrist (due to changing medical coverage and lack of psychiatrist input-he was actually being seen by a private practice psychologist that had a visiting psychiatrist on her staff-he actually saw psychiatrist 2X throughout 1.5 years) is taking his history seriously, has validated our concerns for our as well as DS safety and has been having weekly appointments with us for the last 3 weeks trying to decipher son, his diagnoses and the proper medications as the abilify wasn't nearly effective enough, the buspar was at such a low dosage that it wasn't doing anything and the concerta we restarted but without the others, the ds is having horrible side effects and refuses to take (since restarting last Thursday, took them Thursday, that's it) He has been on an IEP since 1st grade. The school suspends, expels with re-entry(sometimes) after a conference with the "team", myself, ds, school counselor, teachers and usually sd official. He started the behavioral school January 5th and he has done well for the most part. A couple trips to the quiet "carrol" and one "almost" trip to the safety room... but he pulled himself out. Beyond that, the school seems to be acting almost as helpless as I. As for giving up rights. I have told DEX that he needs to step in, but he has 2 more children with his new wife. His wife is sickly and weak, his 6yo daughter has rheumatoid arthritis and his 5yo daughter has autism... DS would pose an even bigger threat to them. In December I stood in court and pleaded that I didn't know what else to do, but that I can't keep living like this, in fear and watching my younger boy imitate his bigbro... DS steals anything that isn't bolted or locked down (2 visa frauds since Thanksgiving, even though purse is hidden or locked in office) and I can't control his behavior so I can't be held responsible for his actions outside the home. They basically said there was nothing they could do. I circumvented some of the red tape and contacted a director in the CHINS program, she sent me the application, but I HAVE to go through the steps to get the application approved and even in some ways truely started. We have a program called Home builders in our home right now (10 hours a week for 4 weeks) that are one of the necessary steps to getting him placed out of home. We have to go through Homebuilders to get into the correct regional support network. The good thing about the time with Homebuilders is that the MH counselor that is working with our family has seen the older two in their tyrants (oldest daughter is now in d/a inpatient) and has seen multiple attempts to redirect, talk with, counsel, command and comingle with DS to no avail. AND he has taken to walking out on her in our home as well. The good news about this is that finally he's not being his usual charmer and someone gets to see inside the facade. I don't want to give up on him, he's my son, in some ways I lent circumstances (working ft, going to school and divorce) to the enviroment necessary to cause Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), it's my problem I feel I need to solve it... but he's testing the limits of my sanity, my fight or flight response and recently the constant increasing stress is straining my marriage. I may have no choice but to officially give him up, or suffer the consequences of more casualties of marriage, sanity and motherhood of my other children. However, giving him up to the system doesn't offer much in the way of consolace either, as we are DEATHLY afraid that he will stew about it for the next however many years and will avenge that decision with bodily harm when he is a young adult. And yes, We/I am very saddened that things have turned out this way. I believe my son, will in the end, hurt someone before anyone really takes notice and then will say... "we never saw this coming"... but then, I am told that I will have a self fulfilling prophesy if I think like that. Hard to think anything else when you know the complete history and have seen his evolution... Sociopathic/Psychopathic is where I think the diagnosis is headed. But then, I'm not a professional, just a well educated, observant mother. Thanks for your responses! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Newbie quest for further answers...
Top