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Newbie...searching for answers, glad I stumbled in...
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 465435" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hi there. I am fairly new here too and I am glad you have joined. it is so scary and painful to have a child who is going through this. you love them and yet get so darn frustrated with them at the same time. I second that you need outside perspective (I have worked with sp. needs kids for over 20 years, but I would never home school or do therapy with my own son...no way. I totally agree with your insight when you said it must be more than just a behavior issue, kids generally dont want to be in trouble all of the time, even when they sometimes seem like it! If traditional behavior methods would work then he would be doing much better by now. Many of our difficult child's need non traditional parenting and school programs. The ability to learn from a consequence may or may not be there, but in any event for many of them it doesn't matter...they just can't access that information when they truly need it. We spend tons of time looking for what triggers them and trying to work around the antecedents to patterns of behaviors. It is tricky and takes a lot of people working together. medications do help many kids, but it is a hard search for the right medications for many of us. And for some kids....medications just dont do anything. </p><p>A couple of things made me wonder if your son has some sensory integration issues. Getting overwhelmed in large groups...getting overly excited in bigger social games....just a thought, could be way off base but that's why we are here for eachother in part...to throw ideas out and what fits go ahead and check out and what doesn't apply feel free to say it is not for you. </p><p>I thought the same thing as Midwestmom, smacks of neuro issues, so was wondering about drug exposure prenatally. Would she have told you the truth if he was exposed? And between 0-3 was he in a stable home....did you have full custody then too? Since secure attachment and our ability to be aroused(hunger,pain etc) and then calm, is mainly formed during those years, kids like mine who ended up either passed between relatives or in foster care, and those who have pain or other physical issues that can't be helped by the primary caregiver can deveop insecurity and anger or even reactive attachment disorder. You dont have to answer, just something for you to think about. </p><p>My son and from what I am learning many of our kids here have severe behaviors on a daily basis so you have come to a good place for understanding. I am sorry you are in this position (for him too)....I hope you can hold on till the insurance kicks in. Love the idea of making the appointment now because you may not get in for months. Once it does kick in, dont take no for an answer, get a neuropsychologist evaluation and/or see specialists in children with behavior challenges (not just any psychiatrist or therapist). You may want to check to see if you can get an occupational therapy evaluation (Occupational Therapist (OT)) to see if there are any even small sensory concerns. You can request a complete school evaluation too esp. if he is missing a lot of school for behavior issues. For children not on an IEP, there is some protection under the law if you have even written an email saying you have concerns about special needs issues so that it is documented if he ever gets kicked out for a longer period of time. It gives him rights as a child who is at risk or suspect of having special needs and helps him stay where he is but to receive help to modify his behaviors and to stay in his home school with peers. </p><p></p><p>not sure if you are using his real name, but given the severe nature of the issues on this board and because you have ex issues to deal with, you may want to not be quite as specific. Your call, just being overly cautious. </p><p>Oh, just saw a new post so insanecdn filled you in, smile. Ditto to all she said, smile. Esp. that milder forms of some disabilities do not show up as strongly till third/fourth grade when language demands increase exponentially along with many more unwritten social rules. Hang in there and keep us posted. Tons of kids are misdiagnosed or not diagnosed when young then to find out later they have Learning Disability (LD), autism, bi-polar, whatever....wish it was not so but it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 465435, member: 12886"] Hi there. I am fairly new here too and I am glad you have joined. it is so scary and painful to have a child who is going through this. you love them and yet get so darn frustrated with them at the same time. I second that you need outside perspective (I have worked with sp. needs kids for over 20 years, but I would never home school or do therapy with my own son...no way. I totally agree with your insight when you said it must be more than just a behavior issue, kids generally dont want to be in trouble all of the time, even when they sometimes seem like it! If traditional behavior methods would work then he would be doing much better by now. Many of our difficult child's need non traditional parenting and school programs. The ability to learn from a consequence may or may not be there, but in any event for many of them it doesn't matter...they just can't access that information when they truly need it. We spend tons of time looking for what triggers them and trying to work around the antecedents to patterns of behaviors. It is tricky and takes a lot of people working together. medications do help many kids, but it is a hard search for the right medications for many of us. And for some kids....medications just dont do anything. A couple of things made me wonder if your son has some sensory integration issues. Getting overwhelmed in large groups...getting overly excited in bigger social games....just a thought, could be way off base but that's why we are here for eachother in part...to throw ideas out and what fits go ahead and check out and what doesn't apply feel free to say it is not for you. I thought the same thing as Midwestmom, smacks of neuro issues, so was wondering about drug exposure prenatally. Would she have told you the truth if he was exposed? And between 0-3 was he in a stable home....did you have full custody then too? Since secure attachment and our ability to be aroused(hunger,pain etc) and then calm, is mainly formed during those years, kids like mine who ended up either passed between relatives or in foster care, and those who have pain or other physical issues that can't be helped by the primary caregiver can deveop insecurity and anger or even reactive attachment disorder. You dont have to answer, just something for you to think about. My son and from what I am learning many of our kids here have severe behaviors on a daily basis so you have come to a good place for understanding. I am sorry you are in this position (for him too)....I hope you can hold on till the insurance kicks in. Love the idea of making the appointment now because you may not get in for months. Once it does kick in, dont take no for an answer, get a neuropsychologist evaluation and/or see specialists in children with behavior challenges (not just any psychiatrist or therapist). You may want to check to see if you can get an occupational therapy evaluation (Occupational Therapist (OT)) to see if there are any even small sensory concerns. You can request a complete school evaluation too esp. if he is missing a lot of school for behavior issues. For children not on an IEP, there is some protection under the law if you have even written an email saying you have concerns about special needs issues so that it is documented if he ever gets kicked out for a longer period of time. It gives him rights as a child who is at risk or suspect of having special needs and helps him stay where he is but to receive help to modify his behaviors and to stay in his home school with peers. not sure if you are using his real name, but given the severe nature of the issues on this board and because you have ex issues to deal with, you may want to not be quite as specific. Your call, just being overly cautious. Oh, just saw a new post so insanecdn filled you in, smile. Ditto to all she said, smile. Esp. that milder forms of some disabilities do not show up as strongly till third/fourth grade when language demands increase exponentially along with many more unwritten social rules. Hang in there and keep us posted. Tons of kids are misdiagnosed or not diagnosed when young then to find out later they have Learning Disability (LD), autism, bi-polar, whatever....wish it was not so but it is. [/QUOTE]
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