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Newbie...searching for answers, glad I stumbled in...
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<blockquote data-quote="bigboneded38" data-source="post: 465455" data-attributes="member: 12917"><p>Thank you guys for all the input. Now to filter and address some questions. (Hopefully I can figure out the block quoting here!)</p><p></p><p>-Motor skills, gross: good athlete, plays most sports and plays them well, bikes, skateboards, snowboards. Fine: took a long time to learn how to tie his shoes, dresses easily, never a problem with buttons, lots of legos and micro-ish toys, poor handwriting, doesn't "hate" any of it.</p><p>-He reads for pleasure, lots of magazines, easy stuff, but is absolutely DEVOURING Harry Potter right now. I have always read with him and my girlfriend reads even more than I do. BioMom and brother, and all grandparents were big readers too.</p><p>-He IS keeping up in school, but he has the same problem I had...once he gets the material, he wants to move on and rote work is frustrating and creates problems, also he then becomes easily distracted. This year his math is way more advanced, but he is handling it great with way less struggle than in previous years. I think it's because he is being challenged and that is fun for him when he gets it right. He is in what is called an "Optional Learning" class/program and has classmates in 4th, 5th, and 6th grade.</p><p>-Never had any testing formally, although he did take an online IQ test and scored out at 180, while a lot of my friends (adults) were in the 120-150 range. I was over 200, which shows you how valid the test was...not very, but the point was, he was scoring higher than a lot of adults.</p><p>-issues, challenges, family diagnoses...Brother ADHD, BioMom - some depression, addiction, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Maternal Uncle - paranoid schizophrenic, committed suicide. Maternal GMA - bi-polar, borderline PD, narcissistic PD, and histrionic PD, addict. Father and Paternal GPA - unofficial ADD/ADHD, ODD, DXs, early antisocial PD, resolved in adulthood, but never treated.</p><p>-Sleep patterns, takes a while sometimes, because he plays when he's supposed to sleep, but can usually fall asleep easily when encouraged. There have been some disturbance issues, but very infrequent. sleep-walking two or three times, bed-wetting to age 8, some nightmares (or reports of).</p><p>-eating: no problems, husky kid but not obese, eats well.</p><p></p><p>His prenatal care was monitored carefully, biomom was not using or drinking alcohol, she is an RN and was a Labor and Delivery Nurse at the time. Non-smoker, folic acid supplements, best OBGYN team in Sacramento. </p><p></p><p>Currently not being treated, and no IEP, but I am working closely with the teacher, school counselor, school nurse, and principal. They were all helpful and encouraging from day one, knowing that he was transplanted and not near his biomom. Also working with his after-school program director as she has an adult son who had sp. needs. </p><p></p><p>His early years were mostly idyllic. Not passed around, Mo and/or Fa in the home at all times, loving, doting, educated, professional parents (perhaps too doting, if that can be a thing?), and a loving brother. Great relationship with Paternal GMA, who passed when he was 4 (he knew she was dead without being told which was weird and spoke to a pretty strong connection).</p><p></p><p>His Mom and I were together until he was ending 1st grade and I did a lot to shelter he and his brother from their mother's addiction. Obviously, they picked up on way more than I realize. The marriage fallout was pretty tough, she left for inpatient rehab, was living there for about 9 months, tried to move back in, resumed use and cheating (including taking LT with her to the pharmacy and making him promise not to tell me, and getting into fender benders, driving with him while she was high, and making him promise the same), and I had to tell her to leave the home, so she took off to MN with a random man she met , probably on the internet, and was gone for 8 more months before she came back and had infrequent visitation. When I got the custody order, the court mediator and female judge awarded me even more custody, and her less visitation, than I had proposed.</p><p></p><p>Oh, and he starts karate on Monday, hopefully to have a physical outlet, learn some self-discipline, and learn how to be cognizant of actions before acting.</p><p></p><p>Please! Keep the feedback comin <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bigboneded38, post: 465455, member: 12917"] Thank you guys for all the input. Now to filter and address some questions. (Hopefully I can figure out the block quoting here!) -Motor skills, gross: good athlete, plays most sports and plays them well, bikes, skateboards, snowboards. Fine: took a long time to learn how to tie his shoes, dresses easily, never a problem with buttons, lots of legos and micro-ish toys, poor handwriting, doesn't "hate" any of it. -He reads for pleasure, lots of magazines, easy stuff, but is absolutely DEVOURING Harry Potter right now. I have always read with him and my girlfriend reads even more than I do. BioMom and brother, and all grandparents were big readers too. -He IS keeping up in school, but he has the same problem I had...once he gets the material, he wants to move on and rote work is frustrating and creates problems, also he then becomes easily distracted. This year his math is way more advanced, but he is handling it great with way less struggle than in previous years. I think it's because he is being challenged and that is fun for him when he gets it right. He is in what is called an "Optional Learning" class/program and has classmates in 4th, 5th, and 6th grade. -Never had any testing formally, although he did take an online IQ test and scored out at 180, while a lot of my friends (adults) were in the 120-150 range. I was over 200, which shows you how valid the test was...not very, but the point was, he was scoring higher than a lot of adults. -issues, challenges, family diagnoses...Brother ADHD, BioMom - some depression, addiction, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Maternal Uncle - paranoid schizophrenic, committed suicide. Maternal GMA - bi-polar, borderline PD, narcissistic PD, and histrionic PD, addict. Father and Paternal GPA - unofficial ADD/ADHD, ODD, DXs, early antisocial PD, resolved in adulthood, but never treated. -Sleep patterns, takes a while sometimes, because he plays when he's supposed to sleep, but can usually fall asleep easily when encouraged. There have been some disturbance issues, but very infrequent. sleep-walking two or three times, bed-wetting to age 8, some nightmares (or reports of). -eating: no problems, husky kid but not obese, eats well. His prenatal care was monitored carefully, biomom was not using or drinking alcohol, she is an RN and was a Labor and Delivery Nurse at the time. Non-smoker, folic acid supplements, best OBGYN team in Sacramento. Currently not being treated, and no IEP, but I am working closely with the teacher, school counselor, school nurse, and principal. They were all helpful and encouraging from day one, knowing that he was transplanted and not near his biomom. Also working with his after-school program director as she has an adult son who had sp. needs. His early years were mostly idyllic. Not passed around, Mo and/or Fa in the home at all times, loving, doting, educated, professional parents (perhaps too doting, if that can be a thing?), and a loving brother. Great relationship with Paternal GMA, who passed when he was 4 (he knew she was dead without being told which was weird and spoke to a pretty strong connection). His Mom and I were together until he was ending 1st grade and I did a lot to shelter he and his brother from their mother's addiction. Obviously, they picked up on way more than I realize. The marriage fallout was pretty tough, she left for inpatient rehab, was living there for about 9 months, tried to move back in, resumed use and cheating (including taking LT with her to the pharmacy and making him promise not to tell me, and getting into fender benders, driving with him while she was high, and making him promise the same), and I had to tell her to leave the home, so she took off to MN with a random man she met , probably on the internet, and was gone for 8 more months before she came back and had infrequent visitation. When I got the custody order, the court mediator and female judge awarded me even more custody, and her less visitation, than I had proposed. Oh, and he starts karate on Monday, hopefully to have a physical outlet, learn some self-discipline, and learn how to be cognizant of actions before acting. Please! Keep the feedback comin :) [/QUOTE]
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