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newbie seeking advice on dealing with sons behaviors
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<blockquote data-quote="freakchick39" data-source="post: 614746" data-attributes="member: 17466"><p>I know that you are right on so many levels and I do know that my enabling him and not following through has and will continue to cripple him and hurt him in the long run. but I cant for the life of me, imagine putting him out or using legal recourse against him. maybe its just excuses but he is my baby. and the love I have for him is overwhelming . he was a gift that I was told I could never have. I was diagnosed with cervical cancer at 15 and by 17 so much of my cervix was gone the doctor said now or never and theres no promise youll carry full term..well I had him full term and healthy, and when he was born the cancer went away for 5 years. another thing I think brings these tears when I even think of putting him out, is that when I was 16 my mother told me she was finished being a mother, packed her stuff and moved to florida. I have been on my own since then. I just dont know that I can do that to him . I am all he has. there has to be something else I can do first. he doesnt even understand the concept of money. he thinks the 120 I give him out of his check once the bills are paid each month , hes rich. he also doesnt understand despite my telling him , that he could get a studio apt and be able to pay electric ,if he chose to move out and take his check each month. and I know if he were to try, he would fail miserably. he would be on the streets and on the phone to me within 2 months please dont take my whining and hesitancy as being unappreciative of and unwilling to follow good advice, I really do want the advice and the change but there has to be something less permenant and severe that I can start with and build on. i just dont know what. he has such low self esteem and has been kicked to the curb so many times by his father I dont know that I can compound those feelings and leave him with no one. I do want him to be better and ill continue to read and post and update you guys as to status, but for now there has to be another way. thank you for taking the time and kindness to read and reply to me</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="freakchick39, post: 614746, member: 17466"] I know that you are right on so many levels and I do know that my enabling him and not following through has and will continue to cripple him and hurt him in the long run. but I cant for the life of me, imagine putting him out or using legal recourse against him. maybe its just excuses but he is my baby. and the love I have for him is overwhelming . he was a gift that I was told I could never have. I was diagnosed with cervical cancer at 15 and by 17 so much of my cervix was gone the doctor said now or never and theres no promise youll carry full term..well I had him full term and healthy, and when he was born the cancer went away for 5 years. another thing I think brings these tears when I even think of putting him out, is that when I was 16 my mother told me she was finished being a mother, packed her stuff and moved to florida. I have been on my own since then. I just dont know that I can do that to him . I am all he has. there has to be something else I can do first. he doesnt even understand the concept of money. he thinks the 120 I give him out of his check once the bills are paid each month , hes rich. he also doesnt understand despite my telling him , that he could get a studio apt and be able to pay electric ,if he chose to move out and take his check each month. and I know if he were to try, he would fail miserably. he would be on the streets and on the phone to me within 2 months please dont take my whining and hesitancy as being unappreciative of and unwilling to follow good advice, I really do want the advice and the change but there has to be something less permenant and severe that I can start with and build on. i just dont know what. he has such low self esteem and has been kicked to the curb so many times by his father I dont know that I can compound those feelings and leave him with no one. I do want him to be better and ill continue to read and post and update you guys as to status, but for now there has to be another way. thank you for taking the time and kindness to read and reply to me [/QUOTE]
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