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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 475802" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Welcome to the board Ma.</p><p></p><p>My daughter cut for many years. Although she's drastically improved and stable as an adult.......there are still occasions when I know she has cut. I know it's awful to think of them doing it, but I don't get overly upset by it, concerned yes as it tells me immediately she's unstable, upset as in emotional, no. Just a good FYI on the cutting. It does no good to hide all the sharps in the house. I never locked anything up. Nichole cut by breaking pens, using paper clips, thumbtacks.......she was creative. If they're going to cut, they're going to cut.</p><p></p><p>Now if it were my daughter and this S dude who is over 18, his fanny would be sitting in a jail cell. Legal age in most states is 16 and she was 14. Does not matter if he was just 18, he's an adult. Why have him in jail (other than that is where he belongs)? Because it shows both of them you mean business and at least for a period of time keeps him away from her. I'm saying jail more for the drugs issue than the sex issue. </p><p></p><p>I refused to let Nichole see a therapist that would not let me be present for at least part of the session. One she was uncooperative and I saw no reason for her to sit there for an hour just starting at the therapist. I found one that would talk to her for the first half hour alone and with me the last half hour. I got lucky, she was an awesome therapist with teens of her own. During my half hour....if Nichole wouldn't talk, I voiced my concerns, usually that got the ball rolling. It kept me informed, better equipped me to deal with her. </p><p></p><p>As per the drugs (which may or may not be the cause of the vast majority of her new behaviors) that is totally up to her. You can try your best to keep her from them, you can put her into rehab if she needs it, but unless she's ready, it's not going to make much difference. I hope this has been more experimentation than any actual down and out using. </p><p></p><p>Oddly enough, it may be she wanted to be caught so you would stop her. That may be why you got the full confession and compliance. </p><p></p><p>Sounds to me like you're taking all the right steps.</p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 475802, member: 84"] Welcome to the board Ma. My daughter cut for many years. Although she's drastically improved and stable as an adult.......there are still occasions when I know she has cut. I know it's awful to think of them doing it, but I don't get overly upset by it, concerned yes as it tells me immediately she's unstable, upset as in emotional, no. Just a good FYI on the cutting. It does no good to hide all the sharps in the house. I never locked anything up. Nichole cut by breaking pens, using paper clips, thumbtacks.......she was creative. If they're going to cut, they're going to cut. Now if it were my daughter and this S dude who is over 18, his fanny would be sitting in a jail cell. Legal age in most states is 16 and she was 14. Does not matter if he was just 18, he's an adult. Why have him in jail (other than that is where he belongs)? Because it shows both of them you mean business and at least for a period of time keeps him away from her. I'm saying jail more for the drugs issue than the sex issue. I refused to let Nichole see a therapist that would not let me be present for at least part of the session. One she was uncooperative and I saw no reason for her to sit there for an hour just starting at the therapist. I found one that would talk to her for the first half hour alone and with me the last half hour. I got lucky, she was an awesome therapist with teens of her own. During my half hour....if Nichole wouldn't talk, I voiced my concerns, usually that got the ball rolling. It kept me informed, better equipped me to deal with her. As per the drugs (which may or may not be the cause of the vast majority of her new behaviors) that is totally up to her. You can try your best to keep her from them, you can put her into rehab if she needs it, but unless she's ready, it's not going to make much difference. I hope this has been more experimentation than any actual down and out using. Oddly enough, it may be she wanted to be caught so you would stop her. That may be why you got the full confession and compliance. Sounds to me like you're taking all the right steps. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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