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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 494592" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>There is nothing typical teen about your daughter at all. I am wondering if she is still being abused by somebody since she is still wetting the bed. in my opinion even wondering about if she is typical teen shows that your mother is not in touch with reality and maybe had a hard life herself. </p><p></p><p>Your daughter is getting older and her birthfather has some serious issues and did bad stuff to her and likely also passed along some bad genes. You don't even know what she has gone through. I'm going to share a horrific story that our family went through because I think there are parallels between your daughter's behavior and THIS child...</p><p></p><p>Years ago we adopted an eleven year old boy who acted normal to adults. He was actually sexually abusing (not molesting...as in having sex) with my three year old and molesting my six year old son. He admitted it. He also admitted he had been doing it to other younger kids for years, although he had no memory himself of being sexually abused (obviously, he had been). He killed two of our dogs. He peed and pooped all over (we thought it was a new dog we had adopted). He set little fires in his room that the kids saw but that we didn't know about until after social services took him away. Our kids were so afraid of him that they said nothing as he promised to kill us all and "burn the house down" if they tattled. We found out when my daughter kept getting urinary tract infections and when our second dog was suddenly killed (we got suspicous of him...before that, we thought the first dog had been killed by "bad" kids who lived near us). It is painful and hard to type this and my fingers are shaking, and I only disclose this because this is what a life of abuse can do to somebody. It can make the victim an abuser and force him to have no conscience and no caring for what he does to others. This boy, after he was prosecuted in court for sexually assaulting a minor (he is a lifetime sexual predator and has to sign in, although he was only thirteen when he was prosecuted), went to a home for young sexual predators and, from all we hear, is out now and still causing trouble. Worse, he is married with two little girls and it scares me. He was diagnosed with Severe Reactive Attachment Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Emerging anti-social personality disorder. His hard life had made him dangerous to himself and to others. I don't want your daughter to get that bad or to get into so much trouble that she ends up in the k ind of trouble this young man is now in. When I read somebody's post where the child sounds a lot like this boy, I comment on it because I know how horrible it can get.</p><p></p><p>With lots of t herapy, my two kids that were abused by him are doing very well, BUT they got to see this boy punished and found guilty. He had to tell them it was his fault, not their fault (although I'm sure he didn't want to). My daughter feels like justice was done. There has to be therapy and closure. I don't know (nobody here does) if it is too late for your daughter to live a normal life and not hurt herself and maybe others (killing dogs is not a good sign). But maybe it is. I think she needs to be in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) so she can be diagnosed, assessed, treated, and maybe medicated. Her sexual abuse MUST be addressed intensively. And if she is going down the road of her father, you really need to know for your own safety and those of others in the community too.</p><p></p><p>I am emotional about this, I know. but living through it is a nightmare. That is what first brought me to this board. So take what is useful in what I said and leave the rest, but please, please, please take her behavior as very serious and try to get her help. Does she still see this father? If so, he may still...please, find out all you can.</p><p></p><p>I apologize again if this was too emotional. There are three BIG RED FLAGS for a person who is at risk to become antisocial as an adult. We learned all this in therapy after this child had left. The three big red flags are a combination of peeing/pooping inappropriately, fascination with fire, and cruelty to animals. </p><p></p><p>((((Huggz))))) Please take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 494592, member: 1550"] There is nothing typical teen about your daughter at all. I am wondering if she is still being abused by somebody since she is still wetting the bed. in my opinion even wondering about if she is typical teen shows that your mother is not in touch with reality and maybe had a hard life herself. Your daughter is getting older and her birthfather has some serious issues and did bad stuff to her and likely also passed along some bad genes. You don't even know what she has gone through. I'm going to share a horrific story that our family went through because I think there are parallels between your daughter's behavior and THIS child... Years ago we adopted an eleven year old boy who acted normal to adults. He was actually sexually abusing (not molesting...as in having sex) with my three year old and molesting my six year old son. He admitted it. He also admitted he had been doing it to other younger kids for years, although he had no memory himself of being sexually abused (obviously, he had been). He killed two of our dogs. He peed and pooped all over (we thought it was a new dog we had adopted). He set little fires in his room that the kids saw but that we didn't know about until after social services took him away. Our kids were so afraid of him that they said nothing as he promised to kill us all and "burn the house down" if they tattled. We found out when my daughter kept getting urinary tract infections and when our second dog was suddenly killed (we got suspicous of him...before that, we thought the first dog had been killed by "bad" kids who lived near us). It is painful and hard to type this and my fingers are shaking, and I only disclose this because this is what a life of abuse can do to somebody. It can make the victim an abuser and force him to have no conscience and no caring for what he does to others. This boy, after he was prosecuted in court for sexually assaulting a minor (he is a lifetime sexual predator and has to sign in, although he was only thirteen when he was prosecuted), went to a home for young sexual predators and, from all we hear, is out now and still causing trouble. Worse, he is married with two little girls and it scares me. He was diagnosed with Severe Reactive Attachment Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Emerging anti-social personality disorder. His hard life had made him dangerous to himself and to others. I don't want your daughter to get that bad or to get into so much trouble that she ends up in the k ind of trouble this young man is now in. When I read somebody's post where the child sounds a lot like this boy, I comment on it because I know how horrible it can get. With lots of t herapy, my two kids that were abused by him are doing very well, BUT they got to see this boy punished and found guilty. He had to tell them it was his fault, not their fault (although I'm sure he didn't want to). My daughter feels like justice was done. There has to be therapy and closure. I don't know (nobody here does) if it is too late for your daughter to live a normal life and not hurt herself and maybe others (killing dogs is not a good sign). But maybe it is. I think she needs to be in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) so she can be diagnosed, assessed, treated, and maybe medicated. Her sexual abuse MUST be addressed intensively. And if she is going down the road of her father, you really need to know for your own safety and those of others in the community too. I am emotional about this, I know. but living through it is a nightmare. That is what first brought me to this board. So take what is useful in what I said and leave the rest, but please, please, please take her behavior as very serious and try to get her help. Does she still see this father? If so, he may still...please, find out all you can. I apologize again if this was too emotional. There are three BIG RED FLAGS for a person who is at risk to become antisocial as an adult. We learned all this in therapy after this child had left. The three big red flags are a combination of peeing/pooping inappropriately, fascination with fire, and cruelty to animals. ((((Huggz))))) Please take care. [/QUOTE]
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