No cable, No Phone, and No Internet.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DazedandConfused, Jun 3, 2009.

  1. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Still have the lights and car at this point.

    Gotta love Son….


    NOT!:faint:

    Rude, abusive, and of course the police called a week and a half a go. He’s just been so awful that I said something to him two nights ago I wish I hadn’t. I told him I didn’t want to be his Mother anymore.

    So, I get this letter from my cable company over the weekend informing me that if I don’t pay my cable bill fifteen days from the date of the letter, my cable gets shut off. They also do my internet connection and phone. So, if it gets turned off, I lose all of those. Might I add that it took 13 days to get the letter?!

    I look at the bottom of the letter and it says I owe $313.17! The month prior I couldn’t find the bill to pay. I pay most of my bills online and I just paid the usual amount. Then, I get the letter a few weeks later. I begin to scounge around and find the april bill. Guess what? Son charged a PVV @ 55.00.

    Wrestling. The fake kind.

    He’s big into it and of course, I hate it which makes it all more enticing for him.

    I go to the livingroom TV and check and see that he had in the past two weeks charged another one @ 55.00. That’s a 110.00 in nonsense. Thing is, he knows darn well not to do that because we have had numerous talks and arguments about the PPV. He thinks, “What’s the big deal?”. Of course, it’s not his money, so it’s not a big deal to him at all. I know I should have blocked, but it hasn’t been until recently that he would have dared.

    I confront him. I won’t go into all the ridiculous excuses and a flat out denials that shot out from that rude little mouth. He leaves me so exhausted, angry, and ultimately depressed. Plus, his birthday is at the end of this month and he’s been very demanding about presents ("Don't be cheap!" he demands). I decided to get him a new scooter he’s been wanting that cost (well, what do you know??) $55.00!

    So, I told him, “You won’t be getting that scooter now. I hope you enjoyed your PPV because that was your birthday present. Furthermore, ANY money you get from relatives you will give to me until the other $55.00 has been repaid. Of course, he goes on a tirade about how he won’t “give you nothing!” Then calls me a very rude word and it is all that I can do not to pick him up and throw him out the door.

    So, he screams at me that he DID have $50.00 dollars but that *I* took it away from him! Yes, he was referring to the 50 bucks that he STOLE from me.

    I blocked ALL WWE on the TV. I thought he was going to have a heart attack, but I was determined. I also took his cell, which he slammed on the table and said he didn’t want but was then begging for it the next day.

    Yesterday afternoon he was quite pleasant for Son. Though, that is not saying much. Later he came into my bedroom (he’s banned if he is not polite), put his head on my shoulder, and quietly said, “So, you’re not going to get me a birthday present?” I respond, “Actually, you did get a birthday present from me and your Dad, the PPV you ordered in April. I hope you enjoyed it”. I did ask him what kind of cake he would like.

    No response. He then asked if he could cuddle up next to me.

    So, fast forward to this morning and me getting up and getting ready to go to work. I turn on the TV like I always do in the bedroom and it’s black. There’s no internet and no phone.

    Uh-oh..I forgot to pay the bill.

    However, I decided to use it to my advantage. I do that working with my students when something bad or strange happens and they expect me to react in a certain way. Son, for some weird reason gets up early (I always have to wake him up) and turns on the livingroom TV. Nothing. I walk in and calmly inform him that the cable has been turned off because of the PPVs and I wasn’t able to pay the bill. He didn’t say a word.

    He quietly got into the shower without my prodding. Later I notice that he’s trying to use the house phone. I told him that he didn’t work because the phone and internet are thru the cable company. He slowly put the phone back on its’ charger.

    He was very quiet the rest of the morning. I’m not naïve enough to think it will last, but it was a nice change.

    I did may the cable later this morning. I need my internet!

    I wonder what tonight is going to be like? Though, I have decided to always expect the worse these days. :whiteflag:
     
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Good for you for holding firm with him!! I hope he learned something from all this (sounds like he's getting it). While it's not an end-of-the-world situation, it's clearly one that hits home hard for him. Natural consequences are often Life's best lessons learned!
     
  3. therese005us

    therese005us New Member

    You could always leave the tv disconnected a while longer to really prove your point.
    good luck with it, you are doing the right things.
    What is PPV? by the way?
     
  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    PPV = Pay Per View
     
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sounds like you handled it well and I'm hoping he is learning a lesson.
     
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Hummm... Wonder if I can temporarly disable the TV and phone? LOL
     
  7. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Dazed--

    I think it's wonderful that the "natural consequences" of running up the cable bill kicked-in in such a timely manner....

    This should end up being a good lesson for him.

    Any way of delaying the return of services until after you receive his birthday money?

    --DaisyF
     
  8. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member

    Dazed,

    Have you asked the cable company if they will reverse the charges because the PPVs were ordered without your authorization? I did this with-the phone company a couple of years ago when difficult child spent almost $300 in 900# calls. (Ewwwww!)

    Also, some cable companies can set set it up so that a password is required to order PPVs. I did that and probably saved many hundreds of dollars because difficult child couldn't order anything.

    No matter how many of those conversations we have with our difficult children, sometimes they just can't resist the temptation.
     
  9. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I do have PPV blocked with a pin#. We've never yet ordered one, but we might someday. I also have all the adult channels blocked, though difficult child 2 has no interest and I think it might gross out difficult child 1. Of course, even husband doesn't know the pin even though I've told him!
     
  10. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Definitely password protect the PPV if you can and if not, simply disconnect the cable box altogether and lock it up while you aren't home. If you aren't sure how to block it, call the cable co and ask them how to do it.
     
  11. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Oh, just thought of something else.....what about simply locking up the remote. We have to have the remote to order something, so he would still be able to watch tv, but not able to order anything.
     
  12. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Once I discovered he had charged the PPVs I changed the pin to something he doesn't know. There was a default PIN. He tells me he didn't know that, but that just cannot be true. He would have had to input it to purchase the PPV. I also put all of his favorite wrestling channels on block with a PIN.

    Honestly, he's really not big into watching TV except the WWE and he drives me nuts with it. He's always doing a smackdown on the furniture, or his bed.

    Yesterday, I overheard our elderly neighbor yelling at him about opening his back gate. I also heard Son swear he didn't open it that it was already open. I don't know what is true. I like our neighbors, but the gentleman can get somewhat grumpy. Especially since his stroke. He once came over and told husband that the fumes from our cars were coming into his windows and making him dizzy. Thing is, our cars are on the opposite of our house from his house. There is simply no way. However, we placated him by saying we would be more mindful and let us know if it was bothering him again. That was three years ago and he hasn't said anything about that since.
     
  13. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member

    My difficult child used to be very big on WWE and all those shows. What's with that?! LOL! It drove me crazy too.

    Fortunately, he's over it now. I was over it way sooner. ;)
     
  14. recovering doormat

    recovering doormat Lapsed CDer

    I think you handled this brilliantly, and I give you kudos for staying firm.

    I used to cave in when it came time to stand firm with a consequence. It's taken me years of angst and heartache to learn the hard way not to.
     
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