Started Monday night with difficult child 2 at 11:30 pm when he returned from his evening internship with a local theatre company.
He stormed in and announced that he was NOT going to his specialist appointment the next day. It's 100 miles away with a non-psychiatric specialist and has to be made 3 months in advance most of the time. Failure to show or give adequate notice results in our paying about $200 for the missed appointment instead of our $15 copay. Not to mention that he is on immune-suppressing medications rxd by this specialist and quarterly appts are absolutely necessary to monitor his condition and response to treatment.
So it is a non-negotiable item - and he knows it after all these years.
I asked him to please stop shouting. I know you will all be surprised to hear that his reaction was to...shout some more after getting in my face. I reminded him this was against our house rules and that set him off on a rant about our house rules.
I ignored and went back to tending the laundry.
He came to the laundry room door and continued to rant about the doctor's appointment. I finally told him it was non-negotiable, that we would have to pay a $200 fee if he didn't show and he was responsible for taking care of his health by going to these kinds of appointments.
Then he demanded that I promise that he could have unlimited Xbox time when we got back. I refused to do this for several reasons, not least because we never know how long these appointments will take and if we hit rush hour traffic coming back it can take 3 hours instead of 1 1/2. Plus he was attempting to intimidate me into doing what he wanted and that meant he was not going to get what he wanted.
He repeated his demand for Xbox time and I ignored him. When I went to leave the room he blocked the doorway and refused to let me out until I promised him Xbox time.
I stood there and calmly repeated my request that he please move and let me by and he continued to rant at me. I took a couple steps back and told him he was violating house rules by blocking me and then I turned around and went out through the back door. He laughed and shouted at me to go ahead and go out the door he still wasn't going to the doctor.
I ignored him and by the time I got back in the house through the master bedroom slider to the patio he had gone in his room - slamming the door of course.
In the morning I went and started waking him up an 1 1/2 before we had to leave. He refused to get up and growled at me repeatedly. I tried again 30 minutes later - same result.
I finally went in with 20 minutes left and informed him that his choices were to get up and go to the appointment or stay home. In which case he would be paying for the missed appointment fee of $200 and lose his Xbox for at least a week.
He was up 10 minutes later.
But he was impossible all day.
He refused to eat before we left and refused to take anything along to eat. He informed me I would be stopping to buy him some real food from Jack in the Box and to get him some real food for lunch too.
I said I would not be buying him any food and he needed to eat breakfast here and make himself something to take.
Things went downhill from there but we got to the appointment only 15 minutes late. I refused to buy him anything on the way or once we got there. I refused to buy him anything after the appointment. He spent the whole ride repeatedly putting his feet on the dashboard, the seat, the door - and I repeatedly asked him to put his feet on the floor. I pulled over a couple times until he did so but he would then wait a little while and do it again.
When we got back to the car I started eating the lunch I brought (seated in the back seat) and he went back to demanding that I buy him food. When I ignored him he lay across the front seats and put his feet on the steering wheel and started rotating it back and forth with his feet. I asked him to stop and he said he wouldn't and I couldn't make him.
So I got out, took my lunch and told him I would be upstairs eating. when I came back to the car 45 minutes later he was calmer and so was I. I offered him a hard boiled egg which he took but then started ranting again about my buying him food and how I was starving him.
I told him I was going back upstairs to find wet wipes to clean the steering wheel where he had put his feet on it and left again. I got really, really ****** while I was searching for wet wipes to buy (there were none) so I stopped at a little cafe at the medical center and had an ice cream.
When I got back to the car 30 minutes later he was quiet. Wanted to know why I had been gone so long and I told him I had needed some time to cool down.
Got in the car, turned the key and - nothing. The battery was dead.
Turned out that he had turned on the lights while he was messing around with the steering wheel and stuff and the car had been sitting there like that for more than 2 hours.
So I left again and went to call parking services to jump the car.
He ranted much of the drive home and I stopped the car twice. The second time he agreed to move to the back seat. By the time we got home at 8 pm (we had left at 11 am) I was so exhausted I could barely drive. I went straight to bed and rested for an hour (thank heavens for my wife who was up and dealt with difficult child 2).
He was difficult all evening and refused his medications.
Today is probably going to be a LOT of fun.
He stormed in and announced that he was NOT going to his specialist appointment the next day. It's 100 miles away with a non-psychiatric specialist and has to be made 3 months in advance most of the time. Failure to show or give adequate notice results in our paying about $200 for the missed appointment instead of our $15 copay. Not to mention that he is on immune-suppressing medications rxd by this specialist and quarterly appts are absolutely necessary to monitor his condition and response to treatment.
So it is a non-negotiable item - and he knows it after all these years.
I asked him to please stop shouting. I know you will all be surprised to hear that his reaction was to...shout some more after getting in my face. I reminded him this was against our house rules and that set him off on a rant about our house rules.
I ignored and went back to tending the laundry.
He came to the laundry room door and continued to rant about the doctor's appointment. I finally told him it was non-negotiable, that we would have to pay a $200 fee if he didn't show and he was responsible for taking care of his health by going to these kinds of appointments.
Then he demanded that I promise that he could have unlimited Xbox time when we got back. I refused to do this for several reasons, not least because we never know how long these appointments will take and if we hit rush hour traffic coming back it can take 3 hours instead of 1 1/2. Plus he was attempting to intimidate me into doing what he wanted and that meant he was not going to get what he wanted.
He repeated his demand for Xbox time and I ignored him. When I went to leave the room he blocked the doorway and refused to let me out until I promised him Xbox time.
I stood there and calmly repeated my request that he please move and let me by and he continued to rant at me. I took a couple steps back and told him he was violating house rules by blocking me and then I turned around and went out through the back door. He laughed and shouted at me to go ahead and go out the door he still wasn't going to the doctor.
I ignored him and by the time I got back in the house through the master bedroom slider to the patio he had gone in his room - slamming the door of course.
In the morning I went and started waking him up an 1 1/2 before we had to leave. He refused to get up and growled at me repeatedly. I tried again 30 minutes later - same result.
I finally went in with 20 minutes left and informed him that his choices were to get up and go to the appointment or stay home. In which case he would be paying for the missed appointment fee of $200 and lose his Xbox for at least a week.
He was up 10 minutes later.
But he was impossible all day.
He refused to eat before we left and refused to take anything along to eat. He informed me I would be stopping to buy him some real food from Jack in the Box and to get him some real food for lunch too.
I said I would not be buying him any food and he needed to eat breakfast here and make himself something to take.
Things went downhill from there but we got to the appointment only 15 minutes late. I refused to buy him anything on the way or once we got there. I refused to buy him anything after the appointment. He spent the whole ride repeatedly putting his feet on the dashboard, the seat, the door - and I repeatedly asked him to put his feet on the floor. I pulled over a couple times until he did so but he would then wait a little while and do it again.
When we got back to the car I started eating the lunch I brought (seated in the back seat) and he went back to demanding that I buy him food. When I ignored him he lay across the front seats and put his feet on the steering wheel and started rotating it back and forth with his feet. I asked him to stop and he said he wouldn't and I couldn't make him.
So I got out, took my lunch and told him I would be upstairs eating. when I came back to the car 45 minutes later he was calmer and so was I. I offered him a hard boiled egg which he took but then started ranting again about my buying him food and how I was starving him.
I told him I was going back upstairs to find wet wipes to clean the steering wheel where he had put his feet on it and left again. I got really, really ****** while I was searching for wet wipes to buy (there were none) so I stopped at a little cafe at the medical center and had an ice cream.
When I got back to the car 30 minutes later he was quiet. Wanted to know why I had been gone so long and I told him I had needed some time to cool down.
Got in the car, turned the key and - nothing. The battery was dead.
Turned out that he had turned on the lights while he was messing around with the steering wheel and stuff and the car had been sitting there like that for more than 2 hours.
So I left again and went to call parking services to jump the car.
He ranted much of the drive home and I stopped the car twice. The second time he agreed to move to the back seat. By the time we got home at 8 pm (we had left at 11 am) I was so exhausted I could barely drive. I went straight to bed and rested for an hour (thank heavens for my wife who was up and dealt with difficult child 2).
He was difficult all evening and refused his medications.
Today is probably going to be a LOT of fun.