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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 226532"><p>Nancy...we have similar thoughts. (by the way...we are not having the greatest holiday with- reference to difficult child as well...I've posted about it)</p><p> </p><p>I have been amazed that significant internvention has not changed our difficult child much, if at all.</p><p> </p><p>She is still impulsive...still prone to making poor choices. She does have a good heart though and she has brief moments of clarity. Brief. </p><p> </p><p>She also has great difficulty holding down a job. She can show up for work wearing the wrong clothes or having not washed her hair for many days to the point that it is obvious. She will also call in sick because of the strangest reasons. Then she is surprised when she is the first one to get let go. She started to go to college...wow...that went horribly.</p><p> </p><p>Ironically, difficult child has a high IQ...but it doesn't matter. Usually...there is little or no reasoning with her.</p><p> </p><p>We only know threads of information about her birthparents, but the little we know does sound similar.</p><p> </p><p>Some say the little progress difficult child has made has been due to my hyperviglance (in the past) and lots of money to help when needed. But husband and I are tired to the bone. She is over 18...we can't keep it up. It is impossible. And the loss has been tremendous. I know you understand.</p><p> </p><p>My good friend's daughter was depressed in high school and they thought it would help to track down the birth mother. They got the shock of their life when they discovered she had the exact same difficult issues as their daughter. However, their daughter had been raised with the best of care including a dad with a Ph.D, a lovely private school, tutors, a doting grandmother (who was a nurse), regular church attendance, etc. All was different...yet in the end...so much the same... Today, their daughter is a young adult, in a bad way. "Nurture" changed nothing. It bothers me big time.</p><p> </p><p>No, you can't let her poor choices ruin your life. Life was meant to be enjoyed. You can provide support and some guidance, but that's about it. Don't miss out on the good things in life. It is ashame and it really bothers me to my core. I find it confusing and conflicting...sometimes I'm very unsure what my difficult child can process and what she can't. However, I do know that it doesn't do ANY good to ANYONE if she takes me down with her. So...we are stuck in this weird place...providing assistance here and there and hoping for the best.I sometimes question this stuff spiritually...it is painful.</p><p> </p><p>In the mean time, husband and I do our very best to enjoy life as fully as possible. Please enjoy your holiday (s)!</p><p> </p><p>Hang in there...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 226532"] Nancy...we have similar thoughts. (by the way...we are not having the greatest holiday with- reference to difficult child as well...I've posted about it) I have been amazed that significant internvention has not changed our difficult child much, if at all. She is still impulsive...still prone to making poor choices. She does have a good heart though and she has brief moments of clarity. Brief. She also has great difficulty holding down a job. She can show up for work wearing the wrong clothes or having not washed her hair for many days to the point that it is obvious. She will also call in sick because of the strangest reasons. Then she is surprised when she is the first one to get let go. She started to go to college...wow...that went horribly. Ironically, difficult child has a high IQ...but it doesn't matter. Usually...there is little or no reasoning with her. We only know threads of information about her birthparents, but the little we know does sound similar. Some say the little progress difficult child has made has been due to my hyperviglance (in the past) and lots of money to help when needed. But husband and I are tired to the bone. She is over 18...we can't keep it up. It is impossible. And the loss has been tremendous. I know you understand. My good friend's daughter was depressed in high school and they thought it would help to track down the birth mother. They got the shock of their life when they discovered she had the exact same difficult issues as their daughter. However, their daughter had been raised with the best of care including a dad with a Ph.D, a lovely private school, tutors, a doting grandmother (who was a nurse), regular church attendance, etc. All was different...yet in the end...so much the same... Today, their daughter is a young adult, in a bad way. "Nurture" changed nothing. It bothers me big time. No, you can't let her poor choices ruin your life. Life was meant to be enjoyed. You can provide support and some guidance, but that's about it. Don't miss out on the good things in life. It is ashame and it really bothers me to my core. I find it confusing and conflicting...sometimes I'm very unsure what my difficult child can process and what she can't. However, I do know that it doesn't do ANY good to ANYONE if she takes me down with her. So...we are stuck in this weird place...providing assistance here and there and hoping for the best.I sometimes question this stuff spiritually...it is painful. In the mean time, husband and I do our very best to enjoy life as fully as possible. Please enjoy your holiday (s)! Hang in there... [/QUOTE]
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