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No More Strength for This
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<blockquote data-quote="tycjcj" data-source="post: 128575" data-attributes="member: 4687"><p>my son is 14 and doesn't allow me to hug him without pushing me away. I tell him I love him and he says "whatever". I try to get him to come in and watch a movie with me and he never wants to. He tells me to leave him alone. I so know how you feel. It is soooooooo hard and heartbreaking. There are times many times when I don't know how I will go on but somehow I find the strength to keep going even though there are times I feel I can't do it anymore. The other night my son cam into the living room and handed me a glass of iced tea. Wow! I was so surprised! It doesn't happen very often but when it does it is a huge reminder that even though our children don't say it every day they do love us. We were watching the news one night and a story came on about a woman who had been beaten and robbed. My son quickly said to me "aww that is messed up. If anyone did that to you mom I woud be mad" Those words weren't I love you but they meant the same thing. Keep showing love for your child and he will learn to love. It takes time and doesn't happen often but I'm sure the feelings are there even if he doesn't show them. When I was growing up I never told my father how much he meant to me. I would tell my mom but I never told my dad. I guess I thought he should just know. Then when he passed away I felt a lot of regret for that because I never told him. It hurt so bad! I guess my point is that just because they don't say it doesn't meanthey don't feel it. hang in there. Don't give up. I know it is hard and painful and we want the answers so bad but all we can do is continue to love them and guide them and know in our hearts that we have given our all. We are all here to offer you much support. Don't ever feel like you are alone. I have cried many times wondering if I was doing right, feeling guilt, and just wondering if I am appreciated and loved in return. Mothers of special needs children are very special angels put into the lives of their children. However, special needs children are angels put into the lives of their mothers. There are so many valluable lessons to be learned from our children if we are willling to open our hearts and our minds to them. I look at it like this...God chose to give me this child because He knew i was capable of raising him. He knew that this child needed someone special for a mother and I feel blessed that God chose me for the part. He never said it would be easy but he gave us angels to guide us through it. Some of those angels are the mothers who understand what we feel and choose to join these forums to give us a soft place to fall. Remember it is not how heavy our load is that we carry but how we chose to carry the load that matters. I hope I have helped you in some way and I will keep you in my prayers. It is a long hard ride but there is hope and laughter along the way. We just have to find it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tycjcj, post: 128575, member: 4687"] my son is 14 and doesn't allow me to hug him without pushing me away. I tell him I love him and he says "whatever". I try to get him to come in and watch a movie with me and he never wants to. He tells me to leave him alone. I so know how you feel. It is soooooooo hard and heartbreaking. There are times many times when I don't know how I will go on but somehow I find the strength to keep going even though there are times I feel I can't do it anymore. The other night my son cam into the living room and handed me a glass of iced tea. Wow! I was so surprised! It doesn't happen very often but when it does it is a huge reminder that even though our children don't say it every day they do love us. We were watching the news one night and a story came on about a woman who had been beaten and robbed. My son quickly said to me "aww that is messed up. If anyone did that to you mom I woud be mad" Those words weren't I love you but they meant the same thing. Keep showing love for your child and he will learn to love. It takes time and doesn't happen often but I'm sure the feelings are there even if he doesn't show them. When I was growing up I never told my father how much he meant to me. I would tell my mom but I never told my dad. I guess I thought he should just know. Then when he passed away I felt a lot of regret for that because I never told him. It hurt so bad! I guess my point is that just because they don't say it doesn't meanthey don't feel it. hang in there. Don't give up. I know it is hard and painful and we want the answers so bad but all we can do is continue to love them and guide them and know in our hearts that we have given our all. We are all here to offer you much support. Don't ever feel like you are alone. I have cried many times wondering if I was doing right, feeling guilt, and just wondering if I am appreciated and loved in return. Mothers of special needs children are very special angels put into the lives of their children. However, special needs children are angels put into the lives of their mothers. There are so many valluable lessons to be learned from our children if we are willling to open our hearts and our minds to them. I look at it like this...God chose to give me this child because He knew i was capable of raising him. He knew that this child needed someone special for a mother and I feel blessed that God chose me for the part. He never said it would be easy but he gave us angels to guide us through it. Some of those angels are the mothers who understand what we feel and choose to join these forums to give us a soft place to fall. Remember it is not how heavy our load is that we carry but how we chose to carry the load that matters. I hope I have helped you in some way and I will keep you in my prayers. It is a long hard ride but there is hope and laughter along the way. We just have to find it. [/QUOTE]
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