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Parent Emeritus
Not feeling clear on detachment for adult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Siobhan Harper" data-source="post: 578089" data-attributes="member: 15902"><p>Payla, sending you "virtual hugs" this morning...wish they could be the real thing. It's totally understandable that you want to end the suspense, so to speak, about what is going to happen next. I seriously don't know if I could stop myself listening to messages, if I ever got them. But you're so right about there always being a new problem, as I know from past experience. Life is just one problem after another for our damaged difficult children, and they drag us right along with them when we're in contact. We care...of course we care...even when we're not in touch, because we know, generally, what their lives are like. In many cases, we worry not only about them but about SOs, grandchildren, and others in their lives. I sometimes think that nobody loves quite the way a parent of a damaged child does, whatever the age. They DO make us suffer, yet we love them anyway. And at the first sign of improvement, we almost always leap to offer help, demonstrate love, and we feel hope, however unwarranted. The crash comes sooner or later, and we're back where we started. Reading these posts reminds me that the most positive action I can take is to pray for difficult child and those around him. Totally not saying that is the answer for everybody, and I respect each person's opinion, so I'm definitely "NOT" hitting you over the head with the God stick. Just saying, for me, prayer is about the only thing that makes me feel I'm taking positive action for my child. Also, it does eventually help me to let go of the worry, at least for a little while, feeling that I have entrusted the problem to the only Person who really knows the whole story. Again, hugs to you and wishes for an uneventful day.</p><p></p><p>Siobhan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Siobhan Harper, post: 578089, member: 15902"] Payla, sending you "virtual hugs" this morning...wish they could be the real thing. It's totally understandable that you want to end the suspense, so to speak, about what is going to happen next. I seriously don't know if I could stop myself listening to messages, if I ever got them. But you're so right about there always being a new problem, as I know from past experience. Life is just one problem after another for our damaged difficult children, and they drag us right along with them when we're in contact. We care...of course we care...even when we're not in touch, because we know, generally, what their lives are like. In many cases, we worry not only about them but about SOs, grandchildren, and others in their lives. I sometimes think that nobody loves quite the way a parent of a damaged child does, whatever the age. They DO make us suffer, yet we love them anyway. And at the first sign of improvement, we almost always leap to offer help, demonstrate love, and we feel hope, however unwarranted. The crash comes sooner or later, and we're back where we started. Reading these posts reminds me that the most positive action I can take is to pray for difficult child and those around him. Totally not saying that is the answer for everybody, and I respect each person's opinion, so I'm definitely "NOT" hitting you over the head with the God stick. Just saying, for me, prayer is about the only thing that makes me feel I'm taking positive action for my child. Also, it does eventually help me to let go of the worry, at least for a little while, feeling that I have entrusted the problem to the only Person who really knows the whole story. Again, hugs to you and wishes for an uneventful day. Siobhan [/QUOTE]
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Not feeling clear on detachment for adult child
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