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Not getting to see ONLY kid on HOLIDAYS : (
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 91733" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Dear Tex, </p><p></p><p>Don't you wish this was like Christmas with the Kranks? Where the kids aren't going to show up and the parents book a cruise only to give the tickets to an elderly couple when they realize their kid IS coming home for Christmas after all? </p><p></p><p>-That's a movie. Keep telling yourself that. </p><p></p><p>Here's a little test that my psychologist gave me when I was having trouble letting go. And I've been letting go since he was 7 years old. He's been away more than he has home. That's just very sad to me. I felt like I got gypped as a Mom. What I was doing in actuality was preparing my son to be on his own and be a decent person. </p><p></p><p>It seems that when your kids are difficult child it's harder to let go because you DO feel like you go ripped off in the Mom department. What I know now is that I did the best I could to raise him to be independent and live on his own and be a decent member of society. What I wanted would have been that too, but I wanted all the Mom "perks". I think you know what I mean. Sports, school plays, pictures, - I have none. I can't get them back now. </p><p></p><p>So what I was asked was this. How old are you? How long do you think you'll live to? Does this make your life 1/2 over or just beginning? What would you do if you could do anything? Why is that impossible/ how would it be possible? </p><p></p><p>There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. No one is ever going to make you stop feeling lonely but yourself. You can be lonely in a crowded room. So getting out of this funk is up to ....who? Right! YOU </p><p></p><p>Keep in mind to, you can have Christmas On ANY DAY of the year. One time we had Christmas on Valentines day. I left the tree up till then, and we exchanged gifts when difficult child could come home. Now it didn't make the Christmas blues go away, and I was alone, but on Valentines day I had something extra to celebrate and it was a good time. </p><p></p><p>Just tell yourself it's just a day like any other. And keep your chin up. (I have it on Good authority that Jesus was NOT born on 12-25 so if it's celebrating HIS birth that's getting to you, just pick another day.) I don't think that rabbit on Easter knows what he's doing either - coming all different times of the month every other year it's a different day. The holidays from here on out will be WHAT YOU make them. </p><p></p><p>Oh = and there is NO WAY that I would let my kid know that I was upset or hurt. i would throw a party at your house and forget to invite her. When she calls you assuming she will, she's going to hope you are miserable...I would have the stereo going, plates clanging....and tell her you'll have to call her back so much going on...then a quick LOVE YOU, and hang up. I did this to my son when he had a choice to come home and chose not to because he figured the "group home" would give better presents - and when he called I cranked the stereo up - had DF beating pans and pots in the kitchen turned the tv up so it sounded like we were having a blast. The next year - he called me early to say he wanted to come home for Christmas - were we having a party? HAHAHA. </p><p></p><p>Hugs for your pain. Most of us know it all too well. </p><p></p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 91733, member: 4964"] Dear Tex, Don't you wish this was like Christmas with the Kranks? Where the kids aren't going to show up and the parents book a cruise only to give the tickets to an elderly couple when they realize their kid IS coming home for Christmas after all? -That's a movie. Keep telling yourself that. Here's a little test that my psychologist gave me when I was having trouble letting go. And I've been letting go since he was 7 years old. He's been away more than he has home. That's just very sad to me. I felt like I got gypped as a Mom. What I was doing in actuality was preparing my son to be on his own and be a decent person. It seems that when your kids are difficult child it's harder to let go because you DO feel like you go ripped off in the Mom department. What I know now is that I did the best I could to raise him to be independent and live on his own and be a decent member of society. What I wanted would have been that too, but I wanted all the Mom "perks". I think you know what I mean. Sports, school plays, pictures, - I have none. I can't get them back now. So what I was asked was this. How old are you? How long do you think you'll live to? Does this make your life 1/2 over or just beginning? What would you do if you could do anything? Why is that impossible/ how would it be possible? There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. No one is ever going to make you stop feeling lonely but yourself. You can be lonely in a crowded room. So getting out of this funk is up to ....who? Right! YOU Keep in mind to, you can have Christmas On ANY DAY of the year. One time we had Christmas on Valentines day. I left the tree up till then, and we exchanged gifts when difficult child could come home. Now it didn't make the Christmas blues go away, and I was alone, but on Valentines day I had something extra to celebrate and it was a good time. Just tell yourself it's just a day like any other. And keep your chin up. (I have it on Good authority that Jesus was NOT born on 12-25 so if it's celebrating HIS birth that's getting to you, just pick another day.) I don't think that rabbit on Easter knows what he's doing either - coming all different times of the month every other year it's a different day. The holidays from here on out will be WHAT YOU make them. Oh = and there is NO WAY that I would let my kid know that I was upset or hurt. i would throw a party at your house and forget to invite her. When she calls you assuming she will, she's going to hope you are miserable...I would have the stereo going, plates clanging....and tell her you'll have to call her back so much going on...then a quick LOVE YOU, and hang up. I did this to my son when he had a choice to come home and chose not to because he figured the "group home" would give better presents - and when he called I cranked the stereo up - had DF beating pans and pots in the kitchen turned the tv up so it sounded like we were having a blast. The next year - he called me early to say he wanted to come home for Christmas - were we having a party? HAHAHA. Hugs for your pain. Most of us know it all too well. Star [/QUOTE]
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Not getting to see ONLY kid on HOLIDAYS : (
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