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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 546860" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I am not giving suggestions but I will toss out an idea. Letters are difficult because the receiver usually can find "something" that causes a trigger if they are looking for one. Some years ago I posted in great detail how my "favorite easy child son" cut off all contact with me after receiving a letter. Three or four years passed before I was able to speak to him, assured him I truly had no idea what had offended him and asked him to please spend one hour with me. During that hour it was quickly identified that he thought this one sentence indicated that he was not a good father to his son. Nothing could have been further from the truth and I "almost" couldn't even see how he had read my words to indicate that. Sigh. The years of misplaced anger actually has eliminated our close bond although we get along fine when together. Sad.</p><p></p><p>So I might suggest that your response be short and simple. Perhaps (1) thanks for reaching out (2) I really regret that we have been miscommunicating and (3) do you think we'd both feel better if we let the past be the past and instead get caught up on where we both are now and how we can better share? Then chit chat as you feel appropriate. The beginning of school? The new teachers? Whatever?</p><p></p><p>I do think rehashing what has been rehashed before could just lead to further issues. You don't know what exactly she hopes to hear and you don't know what she thinks you've said. It's beyond tricky. Good luck. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 546860, member: 35"] I am not giving suggestions but I will toss out an idea. Letters are difficult because the receiver usually can find "something" that causes a trigger if they are looking for one. Some years ago I posted in great detail how my "favorite easy child son" cut off all contact with me after receiving a letter. Three or four years passed before I was able to speak to him, assured him I truly had no idea what had offended him and asked him to please spend one hour with me. During that hour it was quickly identified that he thought this one sentence indicated that he was not a good father to his son. Nothing could have been further from the truth and I "almost" couldn't even see how he had read my words to indicate that. Sigh. The years of misplaced anger actually has eliminated our close bond although we get along fine when together. Sad. So I might suggest that your response be short and simple. Perhaps (1) thanks for reaching out (2) I really regret that we have been miscommunicating and (3) do you think we'd both feel better if we let the past be the past and instead get caught up on where we both are now and how we can better share? Then chit chat as you feel appropriate. The beginning of school? The new teachers? Whatever? I do think rehashing what has been rehashed before could just lead to further issues. You don't know what exactly she hopes to hear and you don't know what she thinks you've said. It's beyond tricky. Good luck. DDD [/QUOTE]
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