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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 546982" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>I think both Insane and DDD have the right idea. If Katie truly has borderline you are never going to get through to her with the steps you did with Nichole simply because she isnt Nichole and you dont have the same relationship with her that you had with Nichole. You have to realize that. You didnt raise her constantly. That is sad. </p><p></p><p>I would start the way Insane said. Things she can latch onto and feel vindicated in and you can apologize for real. I realize she only wants letters at this point but they can be so misinterpreted. I think you said you have a camera on your computer. Tape your talks to Katie on a DVD and send those to her. I would bet my right arm they have some sort of DVD player. Either on a computer or for the TV. If she wants to write you back after she sees you in person on the DVD, fine and dandy. You can also include a part at the end where you say hello to the grand kids. She can choose to let them see that or not. I would play a small amount of music or Barney before you talk to the grandkids so has the chance to say, look Gramma sent you a DVD and not a letter to her first. No need to put kids into adult stuff. </p><p></p><p>That is my take on it. I know one thing that I wish all my life was that my mom had told was that she simply sorry for what she had done. I waited until the day she died for that apology to come and it never came. Heck, the last 5 years she never even knew she had a baby. She completely denied that. I still have times I wish she could do it from the grave. We found a really nice blue and white urn for her ashes and smiled as we got it thinking that she would love it so much because she collected Blue Willow dishes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 546982, member: 1514"] I think both Insane and DDD have the right idea. If Katie truly has borderline you are never going to get through to her with the steps you did with Nichole simply because she isnt Nichole and you dont have the same relationship with her that you had with Nichole. You have to realize that. You didnt raise her constantly. That is sad. I would start the way Insane said. Things she can latch onto and feel vindicated in and you can apologize for real. I realize she only wants letters at this point but they can be so misinterpreted. I think you said you have a camera on your computer. Tape your talks to Katie on a DVD and send those to her. I would bet my right arm they have some sort of DVD player. Either on a computer or for the TV. If she wants to write you back after she sees you in person on the DVD, fine and dandy. You can also include a part at the end where you say hello to the grand kids. She can choose to let them see that or not. I would play a small amount of music or Barney before you talk to the grandkids so has the chance to say, look Gramma sent you a DVD and not a letter to her first. No need to put kids into adult stuff. That is my take on it. I know one thing that I wish all my life was that my mom had told was that she simply sorry for what she had done. I waited until the day she died for that apology to come and it never came. Heck, the last 5 years she never even knew she had a baby. She completely denied that. I still have times I wish she could do it from the grave. We found a really nice blue and white urn for her ashes and smiled as we got it thinking that she would love it so much because she collected Blue Willow dishes. [/QUOTE]
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