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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 136201" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>UPC ? + ? unplanned crisis? </p><p></p><p>Nah my sibs are not people who help people, the one closest to my age does not even tend to his own things----his reason is "he is The Man of The House and HE works for a living" And he does NOTHING else. Not ever. Heck, he does not even go to court if he gets a ticket. "Too Busy" And his family? LOL- all grown and moved on except for his cheating wife. </p><p>My other bro- the minister- he lives very far away, no help- altho he is not much help, anyway. Handy reason? He has no associate pastor. </p><p>Sister? she just had a surgery of her own, over the weekend. And she just started working! (she never worked before, takes it VERY seriously) Minister bro and sister also have kids MUCH younger than mine---and they are finding themselves oveerwhelmed with careing for kids. </p><p>Youngest bro? He is........well he is a difficult child. 21 yr old male...who knows what he REALLY does or where he IS. He IS a hypochondriac....big time--and he has at least 1 eating disorder.....and we are not sure, becuz he keeps distance, but he may also have some type of substance abuse ..issues.? </p><p>Reconciliation with them means I ignore (for lack of a better word) their worser behaviors, and see them infrequently, sporadically.....purely light hearted socially. </p><p>None of them even tolerate my husband AT ALL (nor he them) They prefer to keep me more in the shadows, becuz I do not "fit" in their highly successful lifestyles.....</p><p></p><p>Middle sis and bro do seem to be learning thru life experience that my life is not so much me screwing it up as they originally thought....oldest bro is ....I dunno, I am very concerned for his mental status of late, and youngest bro, I am trying to build some kind of rapport and relationship, but --well, him being 28 years younger, growing up in a VERY different homelife than me....and me not being part of his life really until mom got sick....and I came to take care of mom, so he could go free....we are still strangers, and I think he mostly just tells us what he thinks we want to hear----</p><p>Nah the "reconciliation" is more in my wishful thinking heart----and the relationships always were more of me being some kind of fairy godmother auntie to them than much of anything else. Except that their socio economic status is several big notches above mine. For all intents and purposes, for now- it is akin to my relationship with the waitress at the corner coffee shop right now.....and most likely will never develop into much more than um......them tolerating me bestowing trinkets upon their kiddies.....and them finding amusement in um..oh......the way I dress or the soongs I decide to break into singing while bouncing their baby on my knee dureing the 1 hour they afford me in between their world jaunts etc becuz "I" want to see their kid. Unfair relationship- but due to nostalgia and sentiment, I accept what I can get.....and I put no strings on it. I changed their diapers, bought them their first bikes, taught them to drive (not just a car but also stick shift, LOL) and I guess old habits die hard. </p><p></p><p>Cannot even appeal to their sense of doing charity-becuz their views of people worthy of charity are.......pretty warped. (sad) Not sure if I like them......altho I love them without a doubt. Kinda like my kids. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> </p><p>Altho with my KIDS I do feel sense of responsibility to make my kids become decent civil people. I think I decided my sibs might be a lost cause. or something. Nah, as soon as they even THINK I might be the least bit needy? Their phones and emails seem to not work. </p><p></p><p>I think last nite I WAS hit with overwhelment. Normally, most of it no longer bothers me in the least. And in the light of day today, it does not seem anywhere near as bad. LOL. </p><p></p><p>Me and son take advantage of being out and about-----we do some homeschool "field trips" and stop on way there and back and enjoy the time. In truth, I treasure it a LOT..becuz how many moms and 12 yr old sons get to spend THAT kind of quality time together? Long after I am gone, he will have this time in his memory. And already the hard parts, the reasons for our trips has faded- the surgeries are a dim memory, and he loves to chatter on about all the OTHER parts of those trips. The people at RMH, the doctor himself (we have developed a relationship with this doctor.the doctor is young, my son was one of his first patients....and for sure first child patient) the side trips we take on our trips......</p><p>I think the trips hold a certain amount of......magic. </p><p>ANd if I take things one at a time.they are not as overwhelming. </p><p>Last nite, I was looking at the WHOLE thing all in one big blob.....whew, it really got to me! </p><p></p><p>Yes, this morning I was far more able to look at it all differently, properly.....today I am back to my more calm----"all in a days work" </p><p></p><p>Thank you for helping me get myself back to that better place. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> </p><p></p><p>Now I am goona go look into a new program that might be beneficial to difficult child.......some new thing our county apprently began, gosh....seems to me I suggested this exact program to them a few years ago.......</p><p>oh and the dreaded, I need to find ME an opthamologist..yuk.I HATE trying to find docs here.and harder, hate to try to find ones to take my Medicare or difficult children Medicaide. <sigh> yuk. LOL...a new day a new challenge. Keeps me outta trouble. (keeps me from letting hypomania show so obviously, LOL)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 136201, member: 1697"] UPC ? + ? unplanned crisis? Nah my sibs are not people who help people, the one closest to my age does not even tend to his own things----his reason is "he is The Man of The House and HE works for a living" And he does NOTHING else. Not ever. Heck, he does not even go to court if he gets a ticket. "Too Busy" And his family? LOL- all grown and moved on except for his cheating wife. My other bro- the minister- he lives very far away, no help- altho he is not much help, anyway. Handy reason? He has no associate pastor. Sister? she just had a surgery of her own, over the weekend. And she just started working! (she never worked before, takes it VERY seriously) Minister bro and sister also have kids MUCH younger than mine---and they are finding themselves oveerwhelmed with careing for kids. Youngest bro? He is........well he is a difficult child. 21 yr old male...who knows what he REALLY does or where he IS. He IS a hypochondriac....big time--and he has at least 1 eating disorder.....and we are not sure, becuz he keeps distance, but he may also have some type of substance abuse ..issues.? Reconciliation with them means I ignore (for lack of a better word) their worser behaviors, and see them infrequently, sporadically.....purely light hearted socially. None of them even tolerate my husband AT ALL (nor he them) They prefer to keep me more in the shadows, becuz I do not "fit" in their highly successful lifestyles..... Middle sis and bro do seem to be learning thru life experience that my life is not so much me screwing it up as they originally thought....oldest bro is ....I dunno, I am very concerned for his mental status of late, and youngest bro, I am trying to build some kind of rapport and relationship, but --well, him being 28 years younger, growing up in a VERY different homelife than me....and me not being part of his life really until mom got sick....and I came to take care of mom, so he could go free....we are still strangers, and I think he mostly just tells us what he thinks we want to hear---- Nah the "reconciliation" is more in my wishful thinking heart----and the relationships always were more of me being some kind of fairy godmother auntie to them than much of anything else. Except that their socio economic status is several big notches above mine. For all intents and purposes, for now- it is akin to my relationship with the waitress at the corner coffee shop right now.....and most likely will never develop into much more than um......them tolerating me bestowing trinkets upon their kiddies.....and them finding amusement in um..oh......the way I dress or the soongs I decide to break into singing while bouncing their baby on my knee dureing the 1 hour they afford me in between their world jaunts etc becuz "I" want to see their kid. Unfair relationship- but due to nostalgia and sentiment, I accept what I can get.....and I put no strings on it. I changed their diapers, bought them their first bikes, taught them to drive (not just a car but also stick shift, LOL) and I guess old habits die hard. Cannot even appeal to their sense of doing charity-becuz their views of people worthy of charity are.......pretty warped. (sad) Not sure if I like them......altho I love them without a doubt. Kinda like my kids. :-) Altho with my KIDS I do feel sense of responsibility to make my kids become decent civil people. I think I decided my sibs might be a lost cause. or something. Nah, as soon as they even THINK I might be the least bit needy? Their phones and emails seem to not work. I think last nite I WAS hit with overwhelment. Normally, most of it no longer bothers me in the least. And in the light of day today, it does not seem anywhere near as bad. LOL. Me and son take advantage of being out and about-----we do some homeschool "field trips" and stop on way there and back and enjoy the time. In truth, I treasure it a LOT..becuz how many moms and 12 yr old sons get to spend THAT kind of quality time together? Long after I am gone, he will have this time in his memory. And already the hard parts, the reasons for our trips has faded- the surgeries are a dim memory, and he loves to chatter on about all the OTHER parts of those trips. The people at RMH, the doctor himself (we have developed a relationship with this doctor.the doctor is young, my son was one of his first patients....and for sure first child patient) the side trips we take on our trips...... I think the trips hold a certain amount of......magic. ANd if I take things one at a time.they are not as overwhelming. Last nite, I was looking at the WHOLE thing all in one big blob.....whew, it really got to me! Yes, this morning I was far more able to look at it all differently, properly.....today I am back to my more calm----"all in a days work" Thank you for helping me get myself back to that better place. :-) Now I am goona go look into a new program that might be beneficial to difficult child.......some new thing our county apprently began, gosh....seems to me I suggested this exact program to them a few years ago....... oh and the dreaded, I need to find ME an opthamologist..yuk.I HATE trying to find docs here.and harder, hate to try to find ones to take my Medicare or difficult children Medicaide. <sigh> yuk. LOL...a new day a new challenge. Keeps me outta trouble. (keeps me from letting hypomania show so obviously, LOL) [/QUOTE]
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