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not sure where to put this.........relationship ****
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 447105" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>Why isn't the house in both your names? If he INSISTED it go in just his, you do have another red flag right there. HOWEVER </p><p></p><p>I pulled that from this website <a href="http://www.ottawadivorce.com/propertydivision.htm" target="_blank">http://www.ottawadivorce.com/propertydivision.htm</a>. If you don't already, get all the records together of what you and your parents paid vs what he paid.</p><p></p><p>His "threats" of getting the kids are as baseless as my husband's I LOLed at his difficult child logic. He has difficult child, so by default he will get the other boys too. Hmmmmmmmm wasn't difficult child in foster care before you came around? Although I commend you for 'rescuing' that little boy, in my opinion (yes, I know courts never do what I think they should) the court should have only allowed it if husband sought treatment (assuming that's why husband didn't have him in the first place.)</p><p></p><p>Hopefully you can get husband back on his medications. Does he say why he won't take them? Is he that much better with them? Maybe he needs them tweaked? The fact that he thinks he remembers being like difficult child as a kid is confirmation enough. Try telling him that you want the children's lives to be 'happier' than yours were as kids (sounds like he had it really rough) and the only way to make that happen for them is for HIM to be better NOW. this was a mantra that husband and I shared, but as the years went on, It seemed as if husband was JEALOUS that the kids were getting a better and more stable life than he had. The difference in my situation was that husband did NOT have a diagnosis, NEVER took medications (except for alcohol and LOTS of it) and thought he was perfectly FINE.</p><p></p><p>Yes, continue to gently push husband to his own personal healing, but do protect and prepare yourself. Marriage 'should' make two ppl better than when they started. Each should foster the emotional growth of the other - not tear it down. You should not become a shell of your former self. The advice the others gave regarding DV shelters is excellent.</p><p></p><p>You and your family will remain in my thoughts and prayers for a very long time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 447105, member: 11965"] Why isn't the house in both your names? If he INSISTED it go in just his, you do have another red flag right there. HOWEVER I pulled that from this website [url]http://www.ottawadivorce.com/propertydivision.htm[/url]. If you don't already, get all the records together of what you and your parents paid vs what he paid. His "threats" of getting the kids are as baseless as my husband's I LOLed at his difficult child logic. He has difficult child, so by default he will get the other boys too. Hmmmmmmmm wasn't difficult child in foster care before you came around? Although I commend you for 'rescuing' that little boy, in my opinion (yes, I know courts never do what I think they should) the court should have only allowed it if husband sought treatment (assuming that's why husband didn't have him in the first place.) Hopefully you can get husband back on his medications. Does he say why he won't take them? Is he that much better with them? Maybe he needs them tweaked? The fact that he thinks he remembers being like difficult child as a kid is confirmation enough. Try telling him that you want the children's lives to be 'happier' than yours were as kids (sounds like he had it really rough) and the only way to make that happen for them is for HIM to be better NOW. this was a mantra that husband and I shared, but as the years went on, It seemed as if husband was JEALOUS that the kids were getting a better and more stable life than he had. The difference in my situation was that husband did NOT have a diagnosis, NEVER took medications (except for alcohol and LOTS of it) and thought he was perfectly FINE. Yes, continue to gently push husband to his own personal healing, but do protect and prepare yourself. Marriage 'should' make two ppl better than when they started. Each should foster the emotional growth of the other - not tear it down. You should not become a shell of your former self. The advice the others gave regarding DV shelters is excellent. You and your family will remain in my thoughts and prayers for a very long time. [/QUOTE]
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