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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 635074" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>difficult child daughter once told us that moral codes on the streets are stringent, crystal clear, Inescapable, and enforced through violence.</p><p></p><p>This may be exactly what your son needs to learn, JKF. That there are real consequences to betrayals of trust.</p><p></p><p>If he survives, he will be changed.</p><p></p><p>There is no justice like street justice, according to difficult child daughter. </p><p></p><p>If you can let go of outcome, if you can trust that there is purpose at work here, whether you can understand what it is or not, you will get through this time.</p><p></p><p>From your years here on the site, I think you have tried everything you know to do to help your son change already.</p><p></p><p>This is going to sound trite, but strive for an attitude of acceptance. </p><p></p><p>It is what it is.</p><p></p><p>Let time do it's work.</p><p></p><p>I had to get to that place with difficult child daughter. I was like, flabbergasted at the downward spiral.</p><p></p><p>I had to let go.</p><p></p><p>There was nothing else I could know to do, and I was losing my life, my own, precious life, to depression, to obsessive thinking, to desperate plots and ploys that would turn difficult child daughter around in spite of herself...and nothing worked.</p><p></p><p>But, hopeless as it all looked?</p><p></p><p>Things are very different for her, today.</p><p></p><p>And I didn't have a thing to do with it.</p><p></p><p>Thank Heaven, I had nothing to do with it, or everyone would have been living with us, today.</p><p></p><p>But not healthy.</p><p></p><p>None of us would have been healthy.</p><p></p><p>We don't get to choose anything where our difficult child kids are concerned. Now that I am past it, I wonder how it was possible that I kept that little secret from myself for all those years.</p><p></p><p>If our children were normal, they would never have done the things they've done in the first place.</p><p></p><p>It took me until this morning to really start to get that.</p><p></p><p>I think finally I will be free, once I get to the other side of this one.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 635074, member: 17461"] difficult child daughter once told us that moral codes on the streets are stringent, crystal clear, Inescapable, and enforced through violence. This may be exactly what your son needs to learn, JKF. That there are real consequences to betrayals of trust. If he survives, he will be changed. There is no justice like street justice, according to difficult child daughter. If you can let go of outcome, if you can trust that there is purpose at work here, whether you can understand what it is or not, you will get through this time. From your years here on the site, I think you have tried everything you know to do to help your son change already. This is going to sound trite, but strive for an attitude of acceptance. It is what it is. Let time do it's work. I had to get to that place with difficult child daughter. I was like, flabbergasted at the downward spiral. I had to let go. There was nothing else I could know to do, and I was losing my life, my own, precious life, to depression, to obsessive thinking, to desperate plots and ploys that would turn difficult child daughter around in spite of herself...and nothing worked. But, hopeless as it all looked? Things are very different for her, today. And I didn't have a thing to do with it. Thank Heaven, I had nothing to do with it, or everyone would have been living with us, today. But not healthy. None of us would have been healthy. We don't get to choose anything where our difficult child kids are concerned. Now that I am past it, I wonder how it was possible that I kept that little secret from myself for all those years. If our children were normal, they would never have done the things they've done in the first place. It took me until this morning to really start to get that. I think finally I will be free, once I get to the other side of this one. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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