Now I get it

[crazymama30]

So husband has not been sleeping too well lately. Some nights is great, others he is up till the wee hours of the morning. Really has been good moodwise, but I have been puzzled about this sleeping thing, it was making me nervous.

husband takes 1 (only 1) 20mg adderall in the morning to help with the sedation from the tegretol. Has been really helpful. The last scrip was written on 1/26, and I had to refill it already. psychiatrist did not question that it was a little early, and I did not think about it.

husband woke at 1pm today (yesterday was awake at 9am) and came out of the bedroom with the adderall bottle in his hand worried he was going to run out. I told him I had refilled it and would pick it up tommorrow. He wanted to know why he needed a refill so early? I had to stop and think. I asked him why he had the bottle in his hand.

Are you ready for this??? To take his noon dose of Adderall!!!! He does NOT have a noon dose. I told him, once again, that all his medications except for his pain pills are in his medication boxes and not to take extra! He honestly thought he had a noon dose of adderall! It is a noon dose of neurontin! He said he had done this several times and it made him feel a lot better.

Guess we should fess up when he sees psychiatrist next week. Wonder if psychiatrist will increase the dose??? lol

 

[witzend]

Oy ve!

 

[gcvmom]

Maybe you need to get him a 3-banger pill box set up for 3-doses a day. Measure it all out and lock the rest up!

 

[crazymama30]

It is a 3 doser. I had to buy 3 individual boxes as the one piecers that have morn noon and night doses were not big enough, they would not hold his pills! I give him his morning pills before I leave for work(when he will wake up enough to take them) and then put the noon in a tupperware dish. His pain pills and his sleeping pills are the only medications not in the medication minders. I thought it was fool proof. Guess the fool is bigger than the proof!

 

[gcvmom]

I thought it was fool proof. Guess the fool is bigger than the proof!

Yes, well, we ARE dealing with a difficult child here, are we not?

 

[crazymama30]

Part of me thinks I should be upset as it is dangerous to take more stimulant than you should, especially if you are bipolar, and he doubled it! I am just almost laughing. Noon dose of Adderall? Really? Since when? Calgon take me away. I knew husband was pretty clueless about his medications and how powerful they are, but wow.

G--I am sure that the fool is big. He is a difficult child x 2!

 

[tiredmommy]

Thank goodness you caught the error before it went on much longer! I found it helped me greatly to make a chart for Duckie's asthma & allergy medications stating the medication name. dose and frequency or conditions under which the medications are to be taken. She started several medications at once when she was first diagnosis'd with cva so it helped me to keep things straight until we got into a routine. It's still helpful to husband, especially when we need to add-on a medication like Albeuterol or double her Asmanex due to an upper respiratory infection.

 

[gcvmom]

TM's chart idea is a good one. I created one for the difficult child's medications for husband to follow when I'm not home ('cuz face it, sometimes the pill boxes don't get filled automatically when they're all empty). I post it on the inside of the cupboard where we keep the medications. It also helps difficult child 1 remember what goes where when he's (supposed to be) filling his own box.

 

[crazymama30]

the chart is a great idea, but the person has to LOOK at the chart. He would lose or ignore it. I can only tape so many things to his TV (the only place he is guaranteed to look every morning.). I think if I can train him (thought he was) to take the pills out of the medication box except for pain pills and sleeping pills, it would be easier. Knowledge can be a good or dangerous thing. He just does not even want to know, he tells people that I fill the pill box and he just takes them.

Once while we were in psychiatrists office husband accused me of poisoning him via the medication box. Said I was trying to kill him. I was not sure if he was joking. I very seriously told him if I wanted him dead he would be.

psychiatrist smirked a little, but did not comment.

 

[tiredmommy]

He just does not even want to know, he tells people that I fill the pill box and he just takes them.

I think it's time for husband to put on his Big Boy Boxers and learn his medication routine. Bring it up to the psychiatrist because right now you're more invested in husband's stability than he is.

 

[crazymama30]

TM, I think you are kinda right. I am very invested in husband's stability, without it our family is no longer a family. Is he just as invested as I am? I think so, but it shows in different ways. He takes his medications, I do not and cannot force him. When I say I give him his pills in the morning I try to wake him and hand them to him, the Tegretol and Neurontin at night are so sedating that he has to have the adderrall first thing or he will be foggy all day, and who knows when he will wake up. husband does make the choice to go to his psychiatrist appts, I don't drag him.

Am I overly invested in his stability? yeah, probably. But the alternative seems bad. I do love him and want our family to stay together. My parents divorced when I was in 5th grade, and my brother was in 3rd. My brother never really recovered from it, and had a heck of a time and did not graduate high school. I do not want that for my kids.

There is a line in Lilo and Stitch where Stitch is talking to some alien guy and describes Lilo's family as broken, but good. That sadly reminds me of my family sometimes. We may be kinda broken, but we love each other and are still good.

Thank you for your honesty TM. I am not upset (just wanted to be sure you knew that, lol. Cyber communications can be tricky). It is good to get other perspectives, it will give me something to bring up to my therapist on Thursday. Rolling my eyes.

 

[gcvmom]

It's good that he's willing to take the medications and does it. I have to agree with TM that at some point, he has to take responsibility for himself. You're not his mom and you have enough on your plate.

Maybe once he is more stable you can start a conversation about personal responsibility. Eventually, difficult child will need to start filling his own pill box, and who better to model that for him than husband? Perhaps it's time for you and easy child to sneak off for a girls' weekend away. Leave the chart next to the empty pill box and explain to husband that he will need to do the filling for himself AND difficult child while you are away. That's a baby step he could probably take, don't you think? You can always call to check in and ask about whether medications were administered or not.

My husband was very resistant to getting involved in the medication schedule for the difficult child's. But I slowly trained him to do it! And just this weekend, he FINALLY filled his own dang pill box after me essentially saying "I told you so" when he had a few days of seizures because he couldn't remember if he'd taken a dose or not (because he was too lazy to fill his pill box on his own -- and I flat out REFUSED to do it for him).

You're on your way to fixing the broken parts of your family, and it WILL get better. It just takes time.

 

[tiredmommy]

I'm glad you aren't upset.. that wasn't be my intention. I know that it gets easy in relationships to let someone else do the grunt work and take on the responsibilty and it could eventually lead to resentment on your part.

 

[crazymama30]

I think part of it is that he has taken such a big cognitive hit due to the medications that I am not sure if he could fill his medication minder. He could not remember how to get to psychiatrists office the last time we went--granted it was a new office--but the office moved in October! He had been there over 10 times. He really had no clue as to where it was. There are times when he is driving with the kids that they cannot talk at all and no music on because he has a hard time concentrating. Is he ok to drive? Sometimes I wonder.

I am thinking of the medication minder thing. I just am worried he will get so overwhelmed with it that he will just not do it. He takes a boatload of medications. Neurontin, Tegretol, Lovaza, Lipitor, Celebrex, Adderall, Temazepam, oxycontin, percocet, Robaxin and various vitamins and supplements. easy child will try to talk to me while I am filling his medication minder and I have to ask her to please be quiet, as it is so easy to get things mixed upl.

 

[gcvmom]

Yeah, maybe this is something to hold off on until he's more stable.

I'd be worried a little about him driving, too. If the Adderall is clearing his head and not making him manic, then maybe that's a good thing?

I was actually suggesting to my husband about going back on a low dose stimulant (it helped him a lot before) to see if that would help his sedation that he has on Trileptal. He actually has to go to his car for a nap at lunch on some days, he's so exhausted.

 

[crazymama30]

TM, so far I am not resentful of filling the medication minders. Resentful of other things? You betcha. Of him not helping out at home, of him wanting to leave as soon as I get home so he can get a break from the kids, of him having more time to have a life and friends than I do? Oh yeah.

I did just go out of town last Friday. Went to a hot springs with easy child, my mom and sis. Had a great time. Laid in the hot springs staring at the sky, it was very relaxing. Watched Julie and Julia later. That was a fun movie.

 

[flutterby]

I can't use a pill minder. I get too confused when trying to fill it. And once you have the pills out of the bottle, it's hard to figure out what is what. After double dosing and no dosing myself a couple times, I stopped.

However, I have my pill bottles in a basket on the counter and they are always lined up in the same order. I just realized the other day that I hadn't been taking my statin for about a week or so because someone messed with my lineup. I made sure to let everyone know that while I appreciate them cleaning, they just can't touch my medications. As long as they are there and in the right order, I'm ok. I even group them a certain way when I get them out to make sure I have them all.

IOW, I can understand how it can be hard for husband to do. It sounds like such a simple task - filling a medication minder - but when you have a lot of medications, it can be really confusing. Especially if you get interrupted. That said, I do know what medications I'm on and why. I have confirmed cognitive issues and get lost driving, suffer from CRS, etc. I do think he could take a bit more interest into what he's taking and why and when. Slowly.

I'm really glad the stimulant didn't activate him. That could have been really bad.