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O.M.G. difficult child's and matches...
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 326862" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Almost all kids go through a "fire" stage. Some kids take it a little too far (and some a lot too far) and have a hard time distinguishing the boundaries of fire safety.</p><p> </p><p>For some kids what helps is finding appropriate places and times to light a candle. This is usually done after an unfortunate incident like your difficult child's because as parents, we don't usually know the fire bug has struck until there is an incident (kids hide things well if they go well) and can start with a discusssion such as, "Not everything goes the way we plan. You just found out how fast fire can get out of control and what a huge mess it makes. You were really lucky that a pile of papers was not closer or the entire room could have been up in flames quickly. I know you find it fasinating how matches work, most kids do. So, I would like to give you a chance to learn how to safely light a match. If you would like to do this, you have to be able to listen to and follow the safety rules. The first rule is you have to have a parent with you........."</p><p></p><p>For my difficult child, the place to light a candle is in the bathroom. He is learning about the need of something under the candle so countertops don't scorch. He has to ask me 1st and then he can light the jar candles in the bathroom. (door stays open while candle is being lit and burning)</p><p> </p><p>When it is time to put the candle out, have difficult child do so. Part of fire safety is remembering that the candle is lit. Before leaving the house, difficult child can go into the bathroom just to make sure all candles are out.</p><p> </p><p>If you difficult child asks to light a candle and you say no, let him know why "it is too close to the curtain, the cat can knock it over, we are leaving in a few minutes, ect." Try to make it a learning moment and not just a "no". Maybe offer a later time when you can supervise.</p><p> </p><p>As with everything else, this is not an answer for all kids. It did work with mine.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 326862, member: 5096"] Almost all kids go through a "fire" stage. Some kids take it a little too far (and some a lot too far) and have a hard time distinguishing the boundaries of fire safety. For some kids what helps is finding appropriate places and times to light a candle. This is usually done after an unfortunate incident like your difficult child's because as parents, we don't usually know the fire bug has struck until there is an incident (kids hide things well if they go well) and can start with a discusssion such as, "Not everything goes the way we plan. You just found out how fast fire can get out of control and what a huge mess it makes. You were really lucky that a pile of papers was not closer or the entire room could have been up in flames quickly. I know you find it fasinating how matches work, most kids do. So, I would like to give you a chance to learn how to safely light a match. If you would like to do this, you have to be able to listen to and follow the safety rules. The first rule is you have to have a parent with you........." For my difficult child, the place to light a candle is in the bathroom. He is learning about the need of something under the candle so countertops don't scorch. He has to ask me 1st and then he can light the jar candles in the bathroom. (door stays open while candle is being lit and burning) When it is time to put the candle out, have difficult child do so. Part of fire safety is remembering that the candle is lit. Before leaving the house, difficult child can go into the bathroom just to make sure all candles are out. If you difficult child asks to light a candle and you say no, let him know why "it is too close to the curtain, the cat can knock it over, we are leaving in a few minutes, ect." Try to make it a learning moment and not just a "no". Maybe offer a later time when you can supervise. As with everything else, this is not an answer for all kids. It did work with mine. [/QUOTE]
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