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ODD 14 Year Old Boy Please Help
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 607566" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>What mental disorder does he have? Why do YOU have him for dinner? Where is Dad? </p><p></p><p>We really need more info, but this can sadly happen with teens, especially those from divorced homes or who had early chaos in his/her life. That affects the kids forever regarding attachment. </p><p></p><p>If you son does not have primary custody, there is not much he can do unless Mom says it's ok. And you sadly have no rights at all. I am leery of hanging this all on Mom. My son is going through a contentious custody battle and I know that t here are two sides to every story. This child may have been born wired differently making him less resilient to strife, which he obviously has experienced. </p><p></p><p>There are a lot of teens who do not respond to strict parenting and I seriously doubt if he is this way only because his mother in your opinion lets him get away with everything. Dad has a role in this as well and so do genes. Legally, there is nothing you can do other than exclude the child from dinner, but it's more important to get help than to blame his mom. He sounds like he is hurting and if he has mental illness, which IS possible, he needs good treatment.</p><p></p><p>Is he taking drugs?</p><p></p><p>You can not get through to Mom. You can only control one person...yourself. Everyone else is out of your hands. I would step back from the situation and realize you have no power here. It's the custodial, legal guardian who makes the rules. If Son wants to take his ex to court to try to get primary custody, he can but he'd need a good lawyer. Also, at Son's age, he has a lot to say about who he lives with. As you can see, the best thing you can do is to move on with your life, detach, and enjoy him when you can, when he is being nicer, and let your son and his ex work it out. Often in divorce one parent is strict and the other isn't and the child sees two different parenting styles, which is legal. You can talk to Mom, but you will probably be wasting your time.</p><p></p><p>If you hit this child, you are behaving worse than Mom and she could decide you can't see him. In most states, Grandparents have no rights. I've looked it up since I'm a Grandparent.</p><p></p><p>Sorry you had to find out. Welcome to the board.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 607566, member: 1550"] What mental disorder does he have? Why do YOU have him for dinner? Where is Dad? We really need more info, but this can sadly happen with teens, especially those from divorced homes or who had early chaos in his/her life. That affects the kids forever regarding attachment. If you son does not have primary custody, there is not much he can do unless Mom says it's ok. And you sadly have no rights at all. I am leery of hanging this all on Mom. My son is going through a contentious custody battle and I know that t here are two sides to every story. This child may have been born wired differently making him less resilient to strife, which he obviously has experienced. There are a lot of teens who do not respond to strict parenting and I seriously doubt if he is this way only because his mother in your opinion lets him get away with everything. Dad has a role in this as well and so do genes. Legally, there is nothing you can do other than exclude the child from dinner, but it's more important to get help than to blame his mom. He sounds like he is hurting and if he has mental illness, which IS possible, he needs good treatment. Is he taking drugs? You can not get through to Mom. You can only control one person...yourself. Everyone else is out of your hands. I would step back from the situation and realize you have no power here. It's the custodial, legal guardian who makes the rules. If Son wants to take his ex to court to try to get primary custody, he can but he'd need a good lawyer. Also, at Son's age, he has a lot to say about who he lives with. As you can see, the best thing you can do is to move on with your life, detach, and enjoy him when you can, when he is being nicer, and let your son and his ex work it out. Often in divorce one parent is strict and the other isn't and the child sees two different parenting styles, which is legal. You can talk to Mom, but you will probably be wasting your time. If you hit this child, you are behaving worse than Mom and she could decide you can't see him. In most states, Grandparents have no rights. I've looked it up since I'm a Grandparent. Sorry you had to find out. Welcome to the board. [/QUOTE]
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