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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 659670" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Ok. Yeah, it's true you have no rights. Does your boyfriend/fiance have LEGAL custody? If so, he can do whatever he feels is right for his son and bio. mom can not tell him no. I did not mean you do not love him like a mother does. My son is divorced from a crazy lady and his girlfriend is very important to his son...it's just t hat she can't legally make any decisions for him.</p><p></p><p>Do look into residential because you have other kids to worry about too and he can get help away from home yet his father and you can still parent him from afar. You need a break. Dad needs a break. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry if I came off harsh. I don't mean to (my writing sometimes is just too concrete). </p><p></p><p>Amanda, perhaps you could tell your fiance that not all drugs will make his son a vegetable, which of course he doesn't want. But chances are what he needs is very good therapy and a wonderful diagnostician. If you want to get a pretty accurate diagnosis, thus be more able to tell healthcare providers what to do to treat him, maybe Dad can take him to a neuropsychologist. Saved my life with my autistic son (I do not feel your son is autistic, but am just using an example). He kept being misdiagnosed. Now he is 21 and doing great.</p><p></p><p>Neuropsychologists (not neurologists or plain psychologists) and sort of the gold star for diagnosing in the U.S. They are not the only game in town, but they sure take a lot of time (mine was ten hours!) and tend to nail things the best because the test the child in every single area of function. Most therapists and even plain psychologists don't go that far. Even psychiatrists tend to guess, by just going by what the parents say. We found that was not enough with our complicated child.</p><p></p><p>Wishing you all good things!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 659670, member: 1550"] Ok. Yeah, it's true you have no rights. Does your boyfriend/fiance have LEGAL custody? If so, he can do whatever he feels is right for his son and bio. mom can not tell him no. I did not mean you do not love him like a mother does. My son is divorced from a crazy lady and his girlfriend is very important to his son...it's just t hat she can't legally make any decisions for him. Do look into residential because you have other kids to worry about too and he can get help away from home yet his father and you can still parent him from afar. You need a break. Dad needs a break. I am sorry if I came off harsh. I don't mean to (my writing sometimes is just too concrete). Amanda, perhaps you could tell your fiance that not all drugs will make his son a vegetable, which of course he doesn't want. But chances are what he needs is very good therapy and a wonderful diagnostician. If you want to get a pretty accurate diagnosis, thus be more able to tell healthcare providers what to do to treat him, maybe Dad can take him to a neuropsychologist. Saved my life with my autistic son (I do not feel your son is autistic, but am just using an example). He kept being misdiagnosed. Now he is 21 and doing great. Neuropsychologists (not neurologists or plain psychologists) and sort of the gold star for diagnosing in the U.S. They are not the only game in town, but they sure take a lot of time (mine was ten hours!) and tend to nail things the best because the test the child in every single area of function. Most therapists and even plain psychologists don't go that far. Even psychiatrists tend to guess, by just going by what the parents say. We found that was not enough with our complicated child. Wishing you all good things! [/QUOTE]
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