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Oedipus Complex
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 521144" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="color: #000080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"><span style="font-size: 10px">If you're willing and able to, you need to place your relationship with the mom to the side and do what you feel is best for the kid. If you truly feel strongly that this child will have, or already has, emotional developmental problems, then speak directly with the mom yourself, without using hints or sending her to some website.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"><span style="font-size: 10px">Make a list of particular behaviors you see that are worrisome to you. Think about each one carefully. Think about any things the mom may have said in passing that would lead you to believe she has her own concerns. Perhaps mention the episode with the sleep over and pillow and ask her what SHE thinks of that. The bit about him calling his father by his first name, this really isn't that uncommon in families affected by divorce and step parents - especially if he was young when this occurred. It can be confusing for little kids to figure out who should be called what depending on their direct or daily involvement in their lives. I'd say that really isn't much of an issue. The disrespectful attitude - a different story and not for you to figure out. Loving video games and being a know it all at age 11 is not all that uncommon for some boys - they can be quite obnoxious at that age. You describe my nephew perfectly in this regard. He is still a know it all and, in fact, because he is so intellectually bright, he's even more annoying than if he was a dolt. I can see this getting on your nerves, but again, it's really not your business. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"><span style="font-size: 10px">Back to the bit about needing a smelly shirt of his moms...that is disturbing to me as well. And if I were you, that is what I would be wondering about and I think if you're that concerned and are somewhat close with the family, it's perfectly acceptable for you to broach the topic with his mom. Get the scoop - find out what's what. But, be prepared. The mom could be very put off by your observations and/or comments and either she will distance herself or cut you off. Hopefully, she will listen to you and do some thinking herself. Perhaps she's thought something wasn't quite right and just hasn't dealt with it yet. Or, maybe she is already aware of an issue and just hasn't shared it with you.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"><span style="font-size: 10px">Best of luck~</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 521144, member: 2211"] [COLOR=#000080][SIZE=2] If you're willing and able to, you need to place your relationship with the mom to the side and do what you feel is best for the kid. If you truly feel strongly that this child will have, or already has, emotional developmental problems, then speak directly with the mom yourself, without using hints or sending her to some website. Make a list of particular behaviors you see that are worrisome to you. Think about each one carefully. Think about any things the mom may have said in passing that would lead you to believe she has her own concerns. Perhaps mention the episode with the sleep over and pillow and ask her what SHE thinks of that. The bit about him calling his father by his first name, this really isn't that uncommon in families affected by divorce and step parents - especially if he was young when this occurred. It can be confusing for little kids to figure out who should be called what depending on their direct or daily involvement in their lives. I'd say that really isn't much of an issue. The disrespectful attitude - a different story and not for you to figure out. Loving video games and being a know it all at age 11 is not all that uncommon for some boys - they can be quite obnoxious at that age. You describe my nephew perfectly in this regard. He is still a know it all and, in fact, because he is so intellectually bright, he's even more annoying than if he was a dolt. I can see this getting on your nerves, but again, it's really not your business. Back to the bit about needing a smelly shirt of his moms...that is disturbing to me as well. And if I were you, that is what I would be wondering about and I think if you're that concerned and are somewhat close with the family, it's perfectly acceptable for you to broach the topic with his mom. Get the scoop - find out what's what. But, be prepared. The mom could be very put off by your observations and/or comments and either she will distance herself or cut you off. Hopefully, she will listen to you and do some thinking herself. Perhaps she's thought something wasn't quite right and just hasn't dealt with it yet. Or, maybe she is already aware of an issue and just hasn't shared it with you. Best of luck~[/SIZE][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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