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Of course he makes me feel guilty
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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 71524" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p>I am no way physically afraid of him. I have been with him since I was 16 years old, so that is a fear that doesn't even enter my mind. Emotionally he has damaged me. It's is just really hard because I have been with him for more then half of my lifetime. I am 47 years old and I have been with him for around 31 years. That is a huge change to get used to. I also know that I have another how many years ahead of me to find happiness. Today he was a different person. The person that I enjoy to be around. He must have spoken to someone or had time to think, but he was respectful, gave me my space and asked me when we were going to spread my moms ashes because he said he really wants to be a part of that and I believe he does. </p><p></p><p>I went with my dad to his brothers house to play cards, which is what we usually do. That is something else that makes me sad for him. I know I will stay more connected to his brothers and there wives then he will. I know my husband. But I do thank god that his family considers me family no matter what. I know I will always be a part of there lives. They have become my closest friends over the years and whether we are family or not we will remain friends. I don't doubt that for one second. </p><p></p><p>I was able to spend quality time with my dad tonight, which I kind of found bitter sweet. He came out to dinner with me and my brother inlaw and sister inlaw and then we went to my other brother inlaws to play cards. he looked very tired and it is really hitting me tonight that he will go home and be alone. It is a thought I am finding almost unbearable tonight. Him and my mom would have been married 51 years in October. I never heard them fight a day in there life. She was only 71 years old. How unfair is life????</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 71524, member: 2442"] I am no way physically afraid of him. I have been with him since I was 16 years old, so that is a fear that doesn't even enter my mind. Emotionally he has damaged me. It's is just really hard because I have been with him for more then half of my lifetime. I am 47 years old and I have been with him for around 31 years. That is a huge change to get used to. I also know that I have another how many years ahead of me to find happiness. Today he was a different person. The person that I enjoy to be around. He must have spoken to someone or had time to think, but he was respectful, gave me my space and asked me when we were going to spread my moms ashes because he said he really wants to be a part of that and I believe he does. I went with my dad to his brothers house to play cards, which is what we usually do. That is something else that makes me sad for him. I know I will stay more connected to his brothers and there wives then he will. I know my husband. But I do thank god that his family considers me family no matter what. I know I will always be a part of there lives. They have become my closest friends over the years and whether we are family or not we will remain friends. I don't doubt that for one second. I was able to spend quality time with my dad tonight, which I kind of found bitter sweet. He came out to dinner with me and my brother inlaw and sister inlaw and then we went to my other brother inlaws to play cards. he looked very tired and it is really hitting me tonight that he will go home and be alone. It is a thought I am finding almost unbearable tonight. Him and my mom would have been married 51 years in October. I never heard them fight a day in there life. She was only 71 years old. How unfair is life???? [/QUOTE]
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