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The Watercooler
Of course he makes me feel guilty
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 71550" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>As I said on the previous thread, this has to be your decision. But whatever decision you make, be proud to own it and don't look back. </p><p></p><p>If your decision is to stay with him and work on things, then that is a good decision.</p><p></p><p>If your decision is to throw him out, then that is a good decision.</p><p></p><p>My concerns in my last post were because not only did he not seem to be doing anything constructive to resolve this, he seemed determined to manipulate the situation to make him seem like the wronged party. That plus other aspects to the story make me feel this is not an isolated incident. His timing, to say the least, doesn't fit for this to be a one-off. The affair (or whatever it was) is far less the issue here, than what it says about his attitude to you and to women in general.</p><p></p><p>If you feel that you can communicate well enough to salvage this then go for it. You will have support here, whatever you decide. But I do stress, that both before you make your decision and maybe even after (if you choose to stay with him) you make some effort to ensure your financial and physical security, even if it's just to make sure you're informed about the practicalities. Do copy your documents, do keep them somewhere safe away from areas where he goes, do set up a password system and escape plan just on the remote chance you may need it.</p><p></p><p>If you do this, and you still are happily back with him, then if the house is struck by lightning you will still have some paperwork etc stashed elsewhere and you can produce it magically and solve your problems together.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 71550, member: 1991"] As I said on the previous thread, this has to be your decision. But whatever decision you make, be proud to own it and don't look back. If your decision is to stay with him and work on things, then that is a good decision. If your decision is to throw him out, then that is a good decision. My concerns in my last post were because not only did he not seem to be doing anything constructive to resolve this, he seemed determined to manipulate the situation to make him seem like the wronged party. That plus other aspects to the story make me feel this is not an isolated incident. His timing, to say the least, doesn't fit for this to be a one-off. The affair (or whatever it was) is far less the issue here, than what it says about his attitude to you and to women in general. If you feel that you can communicate well enough to salvage this then go for it. You will have support here, whatever you decide. But I do stress, that both before you make your decision and maybe even after (if you choose to stay with him) you make some effort to ensure your financial and physical security, even if it's just to make sure you're informed about the practicalities. Do copy your documents, do keep them somewhere safe away from areas where he goes, do set up a password system and escape plan just on the remote chance you may need it. If you do this, and you still are happily back with him, then if the house is struck by lightning you will still have some paperwork etc stashed elsewhere and you can produce it magically and solve your problems together. Marg [/QUOTE]
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Of course he makes me feel guilty
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