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The Watercooler
Of course he makes me feel guilty
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<blockquote data-quote="nvts" data-source="post: 71643" data-attributes="member: 3814"><p>Hey Karen: care to hear from another person? :grin:</p><p></p><p>What I think EVERYONE is trying to get across is: take your time. That's about it in a nut shell (get it? your avatar is a sqirrel, get it?).</p><p></p><p>Yes, 27 years is a long time. Yes, he pulled a bonehead move. Yes, it was at the most horrible time possible. Yes, you've put up with a lot of crap. Yes, a break is probably warranted. </p><p></p><p>I'm probably going to get "cyber-slapped" for saying this. But see, I'm NOT a demonstrative person. I am not a hugger, kisser, say "hi" with a warm hug and kiss type of person. My husband was always cool with that. But once my name went from "Beth" to "Mohhhm", I had to start doing that. Sometimes it would almost make my skin crawl because I just didn't want to be that way. I've always been a knock around, goof off type o' gal. That huggie kissee stuff was almost a sign of weakness to me!(whoa, maybe I should be the one in therapy!) :hammer:</p><p></p><p>I had to get over all of that. Once I did, husband wanted the hugs and stuff as well. Eventually, I adjusted, but there are still times that I just don't want contact. For a long time, all of that took a concerted effort.</p><p></p><p>If you guys are eventually looking to reconcile, would you be willing to try the "affection train?"</p><p></p><p>Remember Lily Tomlin in 9-to-5? "I'm a willow; I can bend!"</p><p></p><p>Again, I hope I'm not going to be barred by the board...it's just a thought.</p><p></p><p>I have to say, I'm still really peeved that he pulled this at such a horrible time and in no way do I in any way, shape, or form pity him in the least. It just seems you need to be supported and confident that we support you in any of your decisions.</p><p></p><p>Make sure that you call Dad often after he gets home, and make sure that he's covered for the holidays. Every 1st (birthday, anniversary, Thanksgiving, New Year, etc.) is the hardest for him. 51 years...that's just something to aspire to!</p><p></p><p>God bless and know that we all care!</p><p></p><p>Beth (soon to be barred from the board!!!)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nvts, post: 71643, member: 3814"] Hey Karen: care to hear from another person? [img]:grin:[/img] What I think EVERYONE is trying to get across is: take your time. That's about it in a nut shell (get it? your avatar is a sqirrel, get it?). Yes, 27 years is a long time. Yes, he pulled a bonehead move. Yes, it was at the most horrible time possible. Yes, you've put up with a lot of crap. Yes, a break is probably warranted. I'm probably going to get "cyber-slapped" for saying this. But see, I'm NOT a demonstrative person. I am not a hugger, kisser, say "hi" with a warm hug and kiss type of person. My husband was always cool with that. But once my name went from "Beth" to "Mohhhm", I had to start doing that. Sometimes it would almost make my skin crawl because I just didn't want to be that way. I've always been a knock around, goof off type o' gal. That huggie kissee stuff was almost a sign of weakness to me!(whoa, maybe I should be the one in therapy!) [img]:hammer:[/img] I had to get over all of that. Once I did, husband wanted the hugs and stuff as well. Eventually, I adjusted, but there are still times that I just don't want contact. For a long time, all of that took a concerted effort. If you guys are eventually looking to reconcile, would you be willing to try the "affection train?" Remember Lily Tomlin in 9-to-5? "I'm a willow; I can bend!" Again, I hope I'm not going to be barred by the board...it's just a thought. I have to say, I'm still really peeved that he pulled this at such a horrible time and in no way do I in any way, shape, or form pity him in the least. It just seems you need to be supported and confident that we support you in any of your decisions. Make sure that you call Dad often after he gets home, and make sure that he's covered for the holidays. Every 1st (birthday, anniversary, Thanksgiving, New Year, etc.) is the hardest for him. 51 years...that's just something to aspire to! God bless and know that we all care! Beth (soon to be barred from the board!!!) [/QUOTE]
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