Of course it would be preferable if my son wouldn't be delusional, but...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by SuZir, Jun 12, 2014.

  1. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    I recently actually uttered that sentence to Joy. difficult child happened to have a very bad mental health day earlier this week. He run into one of the people who caused his PTSD in tennis court. Circumstances being what they are difficult child has a very weak hand on this and perps know that. Not pretty.

    Anyway difficult child was having really tough time rest of the day. High anxiety, lots of flashbacks and other dissociation. Hearing, seeing and smelling things that were not there, very persistent delusional thoughts (touch of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) maybe?) and so on. His reality checking works, but they did feel very life like to him, so he wanted to check and verify a lot.

    I haven't actually seen him like that before but I have heard him twice like this over phone. Anyway I spent most of the evening reassuring him that those things really weren't there and after that and lots of breathing and relaxation exercises, Tetris and Minesweeper playing and some medications difficult child got over the worst.

    But Joy was really freaked out about all that. He has not seen his brother like that ever before nor probably truly understood what his diagnosis means. So next day he was still freaking out and asking questions from me and I found myself actually uttering that sentence. Preferable indeed. husband happens to overhear and spent next hour ploughing his butt out at me. I have a feeling I will hear about this from my men for long time to be (also from difficult child, one of his saving graces is an ability to laugh at himself.)

    Maybe I have taken this 'nothing to be seen here, depart, please'- act just an inch too far on the side of ridiculousness?

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    Last edited: Feb 2, 2015
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Don't you hate when that happens.
  3. Echolette

    Echolette Well-Known Member

    Honestly, I think your comment is fine. It is real, true, wry and funny.mpeople should walk a mike in your shoes before they tell you how to express yourself!

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  4. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Echolette: I wasn't trying to be funny :D And while not totally translating to English, the word I used is more appropriate to express that you prefer chocolate ice cream but strawberry ice cream works also just fine, if chocolate is not available. So I totally get why my husband found it so ridiculous - and I kind of have to agree.

    Thing of course is, that very low key, matter in fact approach to this works both for my difficult child and me quite well. It soothes both of us and helps us to stay functional. It is however not how my husband or Joy are inclined to deal with things like this. husband tries to adopt that attitude when talking to difficult child though, because he does know that it is how difficult child likes it.

    Some of difficult child's symptoms tend to go to 'loonier than a toon'-category e.g. how 'crazy people' or 'craziness' is often stereotyped or portrayed by people who don't really know much about it. It is in the end just an anxiety symptom, his reality checking works, he is high functioning and so on, but some of these dissociative symptoms are rather dramatic, scary and sound much more serious and 'crazy' than they actually are. And rationalizing does help. But it can get on the side of ridiculous, when you keep carrying it on, like we have been doing. Then again, laughing at it all, is also a way to cope...
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2015
  5. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Laughter is the best medicine......