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off shoot of 'telling' post
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 40580" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p><em>I like your Q, "Instead of condemning my bad kid, how about praying for him to be well?"</em></p><p>I'd say that to everyone! Why just think it?</p><p>It puts the ball in their court.</p><p></p><p>I am careful in re: to whom I confide in <em>precisely because</em> people are uninformed, and they spread rumors. I like to apply the "ask him" rule we learned through adoption: if someone starts talking to me about difficult child and his adoption story, his bmom, racial point of view, etc., instead of talking about it in front of him (especially since he's old enough now) I point to him and say, "Why don't you ask him?"</p><p>Sometimes people are taken aback and stop talking right there. Other times, they ask nicely and he will reply. Yet other times he'll say, "I don't want to talk about it."</p><p>The person will give me a bewildered look and I will shrug my shoulders and say, "Well, if he doesn't want to talk about it, it's his choice."</p><p></p><p>He's got a good instinct for the diff between those who really care, and busybodies.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 40580, member: 3419"] [i]I like your Q, "Instead of condemning my bad kid, how about praying for him to be well?"[/i] I'd say that to everyone! Why just think it? It puts the ball in their court. I am careful in re: to whom I confide in [i]precisely because[/i] people are uninformed, and they spread rumors. I like to apply the "ask him" rule we learned through adoption: if someone starts talking to me about difficult child and his adoption story, his bmom, racial point of view, etc., instead of talking about it in front of him (especially since he's old enough now) I point to him and say, "Why don't you ask him?" Sometimes people are taken aback and stop talking right there. Other times, they ask nicely and he will reply. Yet other times he'll say, "I don't want to talk about it." The person will give me a bewildered look and I will shrug my shoulders and say, "Well, if he doesn't want to talk about it, it's his choice." He's got a good instinct for the diff between those who really care, and busybodies. [/QUOTE]
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