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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 393358" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hound, </p><p> </p><p>Okay good - then I am glad we are where we are. I say what I say out of love for you and for the kids I've never met. That understood - IF you should choose to not take them? That is your choice. HOW ON EARTH anyone could ever fault you for not? Beyond me. No where in the world are they your responsibility - and one child is a huge responsibility. THREE and two of whom are difficult child's? WITH the fact that you know eventually the Mother and Father WILL POP IN AND disrupt their lives? MUST BE A CONSIDERATION for them, for you and their future. This is the absurdity of adoption at some primal level I think. Do the people around the time of giving children up think about these things? They must if they even have a head in their brains. If they aren't able to then I guess people around them that are able to - make these choices FOR them. Seems unfair from a childs view point - especially when things are FROM a childs view point - but it's something you are going to have to consider in all seriousness. WHAT IF - the best thing FOR K, A and E is for CPS to take them and place them in court ordered foster care where K and M can't manipulate them? The question it raises in my mind now (and not knowing the full situation is really unfair to K an M in a way) - but .......IS what KA&E are going through NOW ---could and would it improve their quality of life by NOT being wtih K&M vs. not being with their Mom and Dad - or make it worse by NOT being with their Mom and Dad in the situations they are sure to face because K&M can't seem to get off the pity me wagon at their ages? OR would putting K,A & E In foster care away from K&M have a positive impact on them so much more that it outweighs taking them out of their present situation, away from their natural parents who appear to be looser parents - and allow them a quality of life they otherwise may or will never get? IF they were to be placed AWAY from their parents would K&M work hard to get them back? Or would they take it as another stripe on their backs and use it for more pity? </p><p> </p><p>See YOU know them - and YOU know the answers to these questions already or mostly --------when you start to connect the dots the puzzle isn't such a puzzle anymore except to factor in WHO gets the kids and then you just have to add in a few more variables - </p><p>IF the people that raise these children AWAY from their parents were young, and allowed nanna to see them once a week like grand parents WOULD they know Nannie and Poppy still loved them like grandparents? Would that be enough? </p><p> </p><p>Or </p><p> </p><p>If Nannie and Poppie raised these children in their home would the natural parents continually harrass the children, the nannie and poppie, disrupt their lives for personal gain or would they just fade away for good and allow the family to raise and love each other in harmony? </p><p> </p><p>What do you see happening futuristically? </p><p> </p><p>Do you see being 60 with teenagers? Do you see being 60ish with teenage boys - possibly K's beoming wild? Do you see making them go to therapy? Problems with the school? Problems with the law? - Something to think about since you JUST did get peace in YOUR life - Peace vs. Chaos with love tugging the other side is a difficult triangulation - not? </p><p> </p><p>Just something for you to think about from the dark side.....but I'm standing here with a pretty big flashlight - called starlight.....(snort) get it? Star light? </p><p>Oh I slay me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 393358, member: 4964"] Hound, Okay good - then I am glad we are where we are. I say what I say out of love for you and for the kids I've never met. That understood - IF you should choose to not take them? That is your choice. HOW ON EARTH anyone could ever fault you for not? Beyond me. No where in the world are they your responsibility - and one child is a huge responsibility. THREE and two of whom are difficult child's? WITH the fact that you know eventually the Mother and Father WILL POP IN AND disrupt their lives? MUST BE A CONSIDERATION for them, for you and their future. This is the absurdity of adoption at some primal level I think. Do the people around the time of giving children up think about these things? They must if they even have a head in their brains. If they aren't able to then I guess people around them that are able to - make these choices FOR them. Seems unfair from a childs view point - especially when things are FROM a childs view point - but it's something you are going to have to consider in all seriousness. WHAT IF - the best thing FOR K, A and E is for CPS to take them and place them in court ordered foster care where K and M can't manipulate them? The question it raises in my mind now (and not knowing the full situation is really unfair to K an M in a way) - but .......IS what KA&E are going through NOW ---could and would it improve their quality of life by NOT being wtih K&M vs. not being with their Mom and Dad - or make it worse by NOT being with their Mom and Dad in the situations they are sure to face because K&M can't seem to get off the pity me wagon at their ages? OR would putting K,A & E In foster care away from K&M have a positive impact on them so much more that it outweighs taking them out of their present situation, away from their natural parents who appear to be looser parents - and allow them a quality of life they otherwise may or will never get? IF they were to be placed AWAY from their parents would K&M work hard to get them back? Or would they take it as another stripe on their backs and use it for more pity? See YOU know them - and YOU know the answers to these questions already or mostly --------when you start to connect the dots the puzzle isn't such a puzzle anymore except to factor in WHO gets the kids and then you just have to add in a few more variables - IF the people that raise these children AWAY from their parents were young, and allowed nanna to see them once a week like grand parents WOULD they know Nannie and Poppy still loved them like grandparents? Would that be enough? Or If Nannie and Poppie raised these children in their home would the natural parents continually harrass the children, the nannie and poppie, disrupt their lives for personal gain or would they just fade away for good and allow the family to raise and love each other in harmony? What do you see happening futuristically? Do you see being 60 with teenagers? Do you see being 60ish with teenage boys - possibly K's beoming wild? Do you see making them go to therapy? Problems with the school? Problems with the law? - Something to think about since you JUST did get peace in YOUR life - Peace vs. Chaos with love tugging the other side is a difficult triangulation - not? Just something for you to think about from the dark side.....but I'm standing here with a pretty big flashlight - called starlight.....(snort) get it? Star light? Oh I slay me. [/QUOTE]
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