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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 254494" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Your KT sounds so much like easy child 2/difficult child 2. She & husband used to have screaming matches as well. I sometimes wanted to bang both their heads together, because with neither giving an inch, it would disrupt the household with nothing achieved. easy child 2/difficult child 2 can be a real pain when she starts getting pernickety over the littles detail. She can be incredibly selfish sometimes, and at other times awesomely compassionate.</p><p></p><p>Since KT is 17, I'd be saying to both of them, "You're both adults or nearly so. I'm staying out of it. Learn to resolve your own conflicts, or you will never learn anything at all."</p><p></p><p>If you MUST get involved, do it as an impartial mediator and make it clear - you won'tr take sides. All you will do is help each of them write down the issues. Of course they will probably hate having you insist they write it down, because hwat they want is a short, sharp adjudication from you. A single word, even a thumb point, to say who is right. </p><p></p><p>So maybe if you isist on making them work it out properly, they will learn to do it for themselves because they will NOT be getting what they want from you?</p><p></p><p>There is another alternative. Help KT look for somewhere else to live. Because we found that until easy child 2/difficult child 2 moved out, the battles continued.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 254494, member: 1991"] Your KT sounds so much like easy child 2/difficult child 2. She & husband used to have screaming matches as well. I sometimes wanted to bang both their heads together, because with neither giving an inch, it would disrupt the household with nothing achieved. easy child 2/difficult child 2 can be a real pain when she starts getting pernickety over the littles detail. She can be incredibly selfish sometimes, and at other times awesomely compassionate. Since KT is 17, I'd be saying to both of them, "You're both adults or nearly so. I'm staying out of it. Learn to resolve your own conflicts, or you will never learn anything at all." If you MUST get involved, do it as an impartial mediator and make it clear - you won'tr take sides. All you will do is help each of them write down the issues. Of course they will probably hate having you insist they write it down, because hwat they want is a short, sharp adjudication from you. A single word, even a thumb point, to say who is right. So maybe if you isist on making them work it out properly, they will learn to do it for themselves because they will NOT be getting what they want from you? There is another alternative. Help KT look for somewhere else to live. Because we found that until easy child 2/difficult child 2 moved out, the battles continued. Marg [/QUOTE]
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