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Substance Abuse
Oh boy, decided to hash it out with difficult child and it is NOT going well. I walked away+
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<blockquote data-quote="Zardo" data-source="post: 499352" data-attributes="member: 12490"><p>Great job of getting yourself out of an unproductive conversation. We are working with a family therapist who reccomends a frequent "non-emotional" response and not taking on any of difficult children "problems". I used to buy into a lot of his issues, get very emotional and end up presenting all sorts of "solutions" to him, all of which he could not have cared less about. The current theory is that HE has to solve his problems....so instead of trying to "fix" things, I repond with "that's a bummer" or "gee what do you think you should do about that?". Not always easy to do but we are trying to send a message that we are through taking on drama and HE is the captain of his own ship. I know many success stories in my town of kids who wasted away their high school or college freshman years and turned things around at the local community college when they realized what they had done. I do think that if it were me, I would offer that soft landing place ONLY if he got into outpatient and worked recovery. He has made quite a mess and you are more than willing to help, but he has to meet you half way by following the rules in your home and living there in peace. I just worry that if he comes home with a drug problem and is actively using, you and your husband will be the ones to suffer.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zardo, post: 499352, member: 12490"] Great job of getting yourself out of an unproductive conversation. We are working with a family therapist who reccomends a frequent "non-emotional" response and not taking on any of difficult children "problems". I used to buy into a lot of his issues, get very emotional and end up presenting all sorts of "solutions" to him, all of which he could not have cared less about. The current theory is that HE has to solve his problems....so instead of trying to "fix" things, I repond with "that's a bummer" or "gee what do you think you should do about that?". Not always easy to do but we are trying to send a message that we are through taking on drama and HE is the captain of his own ship. I know many success stories in my town of kids who wasted away their high school or college freshman years and turned things around at the local community college when they realized what they had done. I do think that if it were me, I would offer that soft landing place ONLY if he got into outpatient and worked recovery. He has made quite a mess and you are more than willing to help, but he has to meet you half way by following the rules in your home and living there in peace. I just worry that if he comes home with a drug problem and is actively using, you and your husband will be the ones to suffer. [/QUOTE]
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Oh boy, decided to hash it out with difficult child and it is NOT going well. I walked away+
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