Ok Mikey, Time for an Update
- Thread starter PonyGirl
- Start date
I agree with HH--concentrate on your poor wife today, forget the kid. She really needs you.
I remember back when Emily was a young teen and I would get upset and cry in front of her and show my weakness. That just gave her power over me and did not help at all. I hope your wife will come to the point where she isn't begging your son--not healthy at all. He needs a firm, strong mom, not someone he knows he has the power to make or break.
Hang in there--sounds like the blinders are coming off--it is hard but it also helps to be able to see your kid more clearly.
Hugs,
Jane
I remember back when Emily was a young teen and I would get upset and cry in front of her and show my weakness. That just gave her power over me and did not help at all. I hope your wife will come to the point where she isn't begging your son--not healthy at all. He needs a firm, strong mom, not someone he knows he has the power to make or break.
Hang in there--sounds like the blinders are coming off--it is hard but it also helps to be able to see your kid more clearly.
Hugs,
Jane
SunnyFlorida
Active Member
Mikey, I've been dealing with this for 4+years now. Baby steps compared to some folks. I remember D3 telling me what that counselor told her and she now told you. I listened, but didn't quite assimilate all the information. As I look back, I now know, that counselor was right. Our difficult child's eventually change and move on (that onward is not necessarily a good onward) and morph into different beings. They are not the same and they will never be the same.
I am surprised that you still seek to find difficult child by car however. One of the things that many counselors will say is to sit back and let difficult child experience the consequences of his behaviors and to not get sucked into the drama. Although it is difficult, drawing a line in the sand makes not getting sucked in easier. In your case, maybe you and wife can just hold on until difficult child is 18, graduated and then let him move on to whatever he desires. You might just give him the basics with no emotion and let him earn his way back to the family.
There is no "right" answer...just what works at that present time.
Take your wife out, that means alot.
I am surprised that you still seek to find difficult child by car however. One of the things that many counselors will say is to sit back and let difficult child experience the consequences of his behaviors and to not get sucked into the drama. Although it is difficult, drawing a line in the sand makes not getting sucked in easier. In your case, maybe you and wife can just hold on until difficult child is 18, graduated and then let him move on to whatever he desires. You might just give him the basics with no emotion and let him earn his way back to the family.
There is no "right" answer...just what works at that present time.
Take your wife out, that means alot.
Terryforvols
Member
Mikey--
Just hoping wife's Mother's Day wasn't too painful. You guys are really in a painful place right now, having to accept some harsh realities about your difficult child. My thoughts are with you all!!
Just hoping wife's Mother's Day wasn't too painful. You guys are really in a painful place right now, having to accept some harsh realities about your difficult child. My thoughts are with you all!!
